How will I have to pay for you?

How will I have to pay for you?
With pain and aches and yearning,
Tortured wishes, fallen dreams
And satan's fires burning.
How will I have to pay for you?
With never ending nights,
With wind that ices up my mind
With frosty thoughts that bite,
With blows that strike my shaky soul,
With tremors in my skin,
The marching of my quickened heart
That makes my body spin.
How will I have to pay for you?
With jealousy and greed,
With my eyes on you all the time
And looks that make me bleed.
How will I have to pay for you?
With shards of glass and nails
That stick right in when you're away
And lonliness prevails.
I'll pay for you with my mistrust
And constant agitation,
Wondering if your love for me
Is only imitation.
I'll pay with plates of emptiness
When you're not by my side,
With constant thoughts of you inside
My whirling, messed up mind.
I'll pay with knowing that I want you
More than you want me
Which rips up like a paper shredder
All my sanity.
I'll pay with losing all my logic,
Filling me with you
As you consume the me I know
And all the me I knew.