I sleep with a gun at my head,
The sweet smell of death,
The sweet taste of blood,
I sleep well tonight.
I fall asleep by pulling the trigger,
The nice feeling of metal,
The nice cold temperature,
I fall asleep with no tears tonight.
I lie my head on my pillow,
My hands by my face.
I can no longer smell,
I can no longer taste,
I can no longer feel,
I can no longer cry,
I can only look upon myself fast asleep & smile.
For I know I will never wake to see the sun again...
- Loneliness Death etc group list • next in list
- Tears group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Darkest poems by HatedLoveDieingRose.
400 points, ended December 5, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the biggest prewrite contest ever by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended January 18, 362 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gimme yo nom noms!!! by cookie-monster.
475 points, ended July 12, 75 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Suicide by borrowing.moonlight.
700 points, ended September 9, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Sweet and dark and deppresing love it
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i love it
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I liked this. It's "my kinda poem."
not cliche eno-suicide. This is beautiful.
Thanks for entering
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hmm very very dark, i love your descriptions here. they're very detailed. i like it. i thought it was a little short, but thats only because i so enjoyed reading it. Unfortunately, and this saddens me because i really liked this poem, but you didn't follow my rules so i will have to DQ you. SORRY
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ooh, i likee... very dark and depressing tone, but yet, calm and serene at the same time. i really love the way this poem makes death seem so welcome, and hey, haven't we all felt like that? (well, i sure have, so i can relate easily)
i loved how the first stanza just INSTANTLY caught my attention with the sleep and the gun, and the use of the 5 senses makes it even more effective.
great little write
thanks for entering!
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dark and sad but very great first i would like to say good luck in the other contests and sencond my favorite part of this poem was when you said you can no longer cry very well writen poem you have here great job
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WONDERFUL
this poem is amazing..
"I can no longer smell, i can no longer taste, i can no longer fell i can no long cry"
i love that part. Very touching.. its amazing.. -
Wow this is really dark and sinister, i sincerley hope you dont feel this way!
bak to the poem yeah its really good, i like your style, and your descriptive writing is immense, i could taste metal in my mouth, but yeah gr8 write!
Take Care XX
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