Riddle Me This...

Alone with this precipice set before my feet
My conscience urges me yet goads me to stay
Burning and yearning, what fate shall I meet
Silence these feelings!! Send them away!!!

Nay. For I do not deserve whatever I desire.
Jaded and solemn, but then you softly spoke
Flittering! w
                  a
                    s
                      h
                        e
                          d  anew, it sang like a choir
Then as I realized the truth, I began to choke

With a sigh, won't have what I wanted the most
frustrated, taming the beast that roars as it may
Will you disappear, and fade away like a ghost?
Tears will not fall, for they cannot wash this away

Dark thoughts, later they inevitably will haunt
Grasping invisible boundaries to send an assault
Try it again! Can it change?, my thoughts taunt
Nay. A facade, a dream, a wish...my fault.

For never have I chased after nor ever betrayed
Yet enamored and charmed, helpless I ignite
My guilt cuts right through me, one giant blade
Push me away or throw me in your arms holding tight

I know you've heard and seen this all even before
I cannot stop how I feel, despite conflicted I stand
by all rights, I should have never opened the door
maybe you will see that this really was not planned?

Each night is a struggle that's tearing me up inside
Weary I plod onward to see what the future may hold
O blanket of emotions, help me cover up and hide
I can't be the same within, vulnerability has been sold...