They came with knifes
and guns
and bombs
to break bones-
get results
with no words,
only wounds
to heal their pain...
they sang songs
of bitter revenge.
Imperfections preached
so-called truth
from high mountains
and we listened
yet nothing good comes
from bombing
a church...
all that remains are
sinful debris
Author notes
thanks to laura Lamarca who helped me structure this and her wonderful editing skills, and a few ideas of her own throwing in for good messure, Thanks Mate
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Wow. I really like this, John. Air-tight, in that there isn't any irrelevant danglers. It packs quite an emotional punch as well.
The words in the intro have a forcefulness to them "...guns/and bombs/to break bones" - the alliteration is effective. I also see some internal rhyme (whether it is intentional or not) that sounds really nice when spoken aloud.
Which is another quality that this poem has. I think I liked it best when I read it aloud. You certainly capitalized on the sound of words.
And just like the intro, you ended on quite the punch too.
I'm typically not a big free-verse fan, but this was magnificent. I'll be keeping an eye on your poetry.
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thank you for the wonderful comments
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boom !
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I really like this poem. What can be said from the heart with words does not have to be shown with violence. The intro is the best, setting the tone for this poem nicely.
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Great write!
I am glad you're still writing and not writing for contest.
I loved this one, the meaning, the depth and the emotions they all mix very well together.
You're good at short writes so keep it up.
,
&
Glenn
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great job.
i absolutley love this piece.
i like the message you give here. you wrote this so beautifully. you really have a great talent.
i really enjoyed reading this, thanks so much for sharing.
your Faerie
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Superb plus
Ah, 'tis a fine write, my friend. You've expressed your self quite well. This one reminds me of the demented individuals, who not only bomb churches, synagogues, and/or mosques, but also, those who in past years have bombed abortion clinics, and gay bars. I believe that there is no excuse for violence, in our society. I found a wonderful website (external) recently, it is about teaching tolerance.
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=RNWO,RNWO:2008-24,RNWO:en&q=teach+tolerance%2Eorg -
Beautifully penned! It seems to touch on wars from around the globe. All those that claim they are 'doing god's work'. It always is the normal peaceful people that pay the price, eh?
Well done.
*bows*
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sad and yet true...
thanks for sharing!
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wow
this poem is AMAZING!!!!!!!!! good job..keep up the good writing!!!!!!! i cant wait to read more of your poems!!!! -
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thank you, enjoy and take care
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You got it looking good
Thanks for the heads up too, it's appreciated 
Poetic growth is a good thing to watch when one knows the individual well 
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don't mention it, thanks Laura that is sweet and it means a lot beileve me
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