On a coldwater Christmas,
we carried buckets of snow
from blanket drifts near hillside;
scarves wrapped tightly.
Skipjacks sailed on kites,
breaking the surface
like grandma's favorite china doll;
piecemeal on the wooden floor.
Peacoats and mason jars
kept us warm on a coldwater Christmas.
Author notes
Artist Credit: http://brokenartist23.deviantart.com/art/Wilderness-003-50369303
A contest entry
- Pick a word - Write a poem in 10 lines or less (B) by The Fun House.
1050 points, ended December 14, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Sentimental and nostalgic...nice flow and image. Blessings.
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This has such a personal touch to it that I can easily fall into it. I love the imagery of this piece and it does remind me of my own Grandmother and my youth. Wonderfully penned
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so nostalgic in its brevity...much enjoyed=)
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This is a nice write
This is what I see when I think of winter. And your word shows your picture up. Very nice work!
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Nostalgia picks the beauty from the most spartan experience. Here you have heated , distilled it and served a rare poem. Well done, poet!
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You write like you're ancient. I mean that in a good way, of course. I loved the imagery in this. The word choice, perhaps, makes me think in sepia tones.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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oh ! peacoats and mason jars .. just lovely that lets me see such texture ! wool and glass wood and porcelain it all recalls the smell of wood burning in the crisp just before dusk air !
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This is fantastic. In just a few short lines I feel an entire Christmas. Great job.
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Images of my child hood hiding in your vibrant poetry my friend. Tremendouos!
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So much richness wrung from the constraints of working with ten lines. Strong visuals and personal-ness. I had to look up Skipjacks... a fishing boat? love this.
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Mmm, beautiful. First couple of lines really reached out and grabbed me by the throat haha.
Very lovely, best of luck in the contest.
Ashley A. Wolfe
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I loved how you ended this, "Peacoats and mason jars kept us warm on a coldwater Christmas"
Beautiful imagery Joseph! An excellent write...Goodluck in the contest!
Love
Alyzeh
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I came back to read again. Sorry. Hehe. It's just so beautiful.
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I just saw the picture you uploaded. Amazing. I love Black and White Photography! A great image for a great poem!
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Omg! Joe! This is a gorgeous poem. Such great imagery! I've always wanted to enter The Fun House' contest but for some reason, I can't! You did brilliant with this. Like, brilliant. I don't even know why you ever thought of NOT posting it! I am so glad you did! Absolutely beautiful my friend. Sigh. Good luck to you in the contest, but you know what I think about it already. This is GOLD!!!
Much love
Ylova
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