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Shadows of Despair

When Silence beckons,
meadows of darkness
surround her.

Sinking into this blackness,
Shrieking cries echo in this abyss.

Faded, the amber sun,
Shadows lurk

in melancholy nights.

She tries to lift

a heavy veil of dark lace,
striving to wipe away

yesterday's tears.

Love flashing before her
Collages behind tear-stained eyes
Memories; distant memories;

forevermore.

Sleepless and forsaken,
Fate is bittersweet.

You were taken,
and now she stands
outside cemetery gates,
in shadows of despair.

Author notes

Prompt: In the shadows

Picture Credit: http://neonescence.deviantart.com/art/Lost-In-Shadows-92590931

15 minutes. Sorry, not great, I know, still trying to get out of that writer's block! Sigh.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15
  • Just a poet gold member
    December 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Not a lot I can add to some very good comments below me, dark and thoughtful chilling poetry.

    Thank-you for a strong entry

    JaP


  • luna-midnight gold member
    December 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is powerful, it really takes off and spins into caous, which is good for this prompt, love the picture too. i like it
    goodluck and take care
    Stephanie ♥


  • Myth Of Twilight
    December 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    great write it wasing half bad at all you have a true poets power to ya sorry i read the rest but was not up to commenting on them zorry bout that i wanted something a littl bit longer i vishualize everything i see ya see and i needed something that got to me to you write for you or lalwase for a contest just to as none the less not a bad write and a great read you work seems intresting and i think i should look into something as such


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    dark and yet something more, i can only say amazing my friend, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest. and doesn't look like you WB is handicapping you.


  • Hikari Lady
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this write but I also think that you've over done some places. You've explained too much and left nothing for the reader yet dear you astonish me again with your writes and how you use words and place your stanzas. I really like the gloom in this write and your expressings. Your writers block is so much lighter than mine so never give up.

    Much love
    ~Noor


  • JinSays gold member
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    No, you're not blocked honey, just doubting yourself. My hero Dorothy Parker went through bouts of this all the time. One time she got so disguted with herself, she impulsively drank a whole bottle of shoe polish in an effort to kill herself.
    She almost died, but it did NOT stop that self doubt that permeates us at times.
    Please dont ever thinkl you've nothing to say.
    You do honey, even if you dont see it right away.
    I want you to go back into this write (Just like I told your sister Alyzeh, tighten this up some. Get RID of all the filler words you can get away with. The hers especially. Remember, the reader is looking at her picture when they read this, so wrap the story around the image, or think of the next or last photo frame you're looking at, and tell WHY she is where she is.
    This is really sad love, it just makes me worry about you.
    Im here, even if I dont respond right away, you know Im here for you, right?
    I love you with all my heart, you make me proud, you've come so far.
    And it's okay to let your pen rest some.
    It only means you're saving something grande for later.
    Love always,
    Mama Jin


  • nilav
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    silence and darkness bringing shadows of despair to the life and mind is very powerfully expressed by your words...


  • Ken-Maverick
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A somber write indeed,
    these lines were very sad...
    She tries to lift
    a heavy veil of dark lace,
    striving to wipe away
    yesterday's tears.
    Well done with this and all the best to you in the contest this should do well

    Ken


  • Bob Fox
    December 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Poet

    Tragic and yet so beautiful. The darkness that containd a glimpse of light and we cry in anguish.


  • Alyzeh
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a lovely dark write. Brilliant take on the prompt!! I like how when you start reading this poem, it sucks you in...and you dont stop reading until the very end. Great work! Good luck in the contest!!

    Love
    Alyzeh


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    December 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A lovely grim take.

    Be Well.


  • heavenbird gold member
    December 4, 2008

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    This is so beautiful, and so wonderfully translates to the picture.The last stanza brings it all flawlessly together. It's chilling, haunting and unique.
    Love love love.


  • MD Masroor
    December 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very dark, and in its own sense, beautiful. Great write you have here. Good luck in the contest.


  • Girl-Interrupted gold member
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The last stanza absolutely brings it all together!!! I think this piece is hauntingly beautiful. this is definitely a winner in my book!

    Love ya !
    becca


  • Joseph Hollis
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, you've created an eerie and haunting atmosphere here. Excellent job with the imagery in this one. I can picture her standing outside the cemetary gates waiting for death to embrace her in his arms. Well done and best of luck in the contest!

1 - 15 of 15