She was the onion dome atop his minaret,
venting light shards to his soul,
Belvedere for viewing life's perspective,
finial whose adornment brought him joy.
Wind shifted and his weathervane was gone,
lantern no longer guiding his way.
The architect of his life had vanished,
love merely a crenellated embrasure.
A contest entry
- Pick a word - Write a Poem in 10 LINES or less (C) by The Fun House.
1050 points, ended December 14, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Wonderfully done. I've not seen the word finial used in a very long time. Excellent job with the vocabulary, imagery and flow.
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Contest-wise "it does exactly what it says on the tin". Fine balance between first and second stanzas. I was uncomfortable at first about so many nouns shorn of their articles; but in this case I feel that having "the" after "the" after "the" at the beginning of most of the lines would have destroyed something. The punch of those nouns - Belvedere, finial, wind, lantern, architect - is the voice of this poem.
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