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What Your Goodbye Did To Me (Lyrics)

Standing in this nightmare
I cried out your beautiful name
Running toward nothing
Puts me to shame
You're leaving me for my safety
I am the one to blame
Falling to the rainy ground
Watching our love go up in flames

Back then
When you kissed me
You always took my breath away
Seeing your crooked smile
Makes me feel gay

Skin of diamonds
Breath of perfume
Touch of cold stone
Eyes of pure doom

I knew the risk
I knew my fate
I don't even care
My love for you, so great

Standing in this nightmare
I cried out your beautiful name
Running toward nothing
Puts me to shame
You're leaving me for my safety
I am the one to blame
Falling to the rainy ground
Watching our love go up in flames

But, you left me
Alone in this dark world
Knowing you don't love me, no more
My mind swirled

I can't let go of you
Don't make my heart depart
Before you disappeared,
You ripped it out, tore it apart

You took my feelings, no longer present
You slapped me with your voice
The worst you did to me,
You gave me with no choice

But to...

Standing in this nightmare
I cried out your beautiful name
Running toward nothing
Puts me to shame
You're leaving me for my safety
I am the one to blame
Falling to the rainy ground
Watching our love go up in flames

Author notes

I don't know if you read the Twilight Saga. But, I used Bella's break up with Edward from New Moon. I never had a boyfriend before, so I used the book. I hope it's good. Oh, if you do read the series, read the books, DON'T watch the movies.

My favorite book of all time is Socrates In Love. Favorite band/singer would have to be Three Days Grace.

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • Blue-Rose Beauty
    November 2

    Edit | Reply
    Skin of diamonds
    Breath of perfume
    Touch of cold stone
    Eyes of pure doom

    Love those lines.


  • Blue-Rose Beauty
    October 29
    Edit | Reply
    I like this.


  • masked-monster
    October 26
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this was very good for not ever having a boyfriend!!


  • purplemoon
    October 25

    Edit | Reply
    Quite lovely. I do beleive that this is the only lyrics entered in this contest. It was lovely and wonderful.
    Great write.

    Thanks for the entery
    ~Kathryn


  • JeremyWilliams
    May 28
    Edit | Reply

    judges verdict

    I didnt really want this kind of poem
    good luck in the contest


  • metal4ever
    May 27
    Edit | Reply
    great job, keep up the good work


  • Symphony
    May 7
    Edit | Reply
    Ahh, this was beautifully done, I feel that you really captured Bella's heartache and anguish at being separated from Edward - and the immense feeling of guilt that it was all her fault

    thanks for entering - oh and congrats on the previous wins with this too


  • Dreamer42morrow
    April 26
    Edit | Reply
    Great =D I loved the flow and imagry of this. Good job!

    The only thing is that if you wish to place in this contest, you must re-read the rules and put what is to be put in the Author Notes. When i finish reading the rest of the poems in the contest I will return to see if you have fixed that. Thank you!

    Thanks for entering and good luck!

    ~Mariah!~


  • xXGoddessofPainXx
    April 22

    Edit | Reply
    Yes I'm almost done with this twilight saga.. It is a good write you have here. Really well done my friend. Thank you for entering and congrats. See you in round 2


  • perfectsunset gold member
    March 16

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.. deeply beautiful & heartfelt.
    Full of emotions & intensity.

    Best of luck & thanks for entering


  • GypsyEyes
    March 4

    Edit | Reply
    'Alone in this dark world
    Knowing you don't love me, no more'
    that is exactlly!! how i am feeling the maajority of the time when i think about my ex. they just make you like crap and they dont even care. thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox


  • echo-ink
    December 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely done.
    Thanks for your entry.


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    December 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful work here and congratulations
    on your trophy! Good luck to you here!




    Jeremy0826

  • Xx-Erin-xX
    December 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great write! I loved it! I was a little upset when Edward left Bella in the book and glad when they got back together.

    You did a real good job at retelling that part of the story I thought.

    Keep up the good work.


  • BlackBloodyRose
    December 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    so..i dknew this was about twilight the second i started it. i love it. very good portrayal of the pain bella felt . i lov eit

    (btw i liked the movie ;P)


  • XxUnlovedAngelxX
    December 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    huh?

    i like the poem but whats up with the gay part


  • Missa
    December 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    great!!! the only think i kida noticed that could go either way, is when you said "My love for you, so great" you could have said "My love for you is so great"

    but its fine the way it is. great work. and dont worry about not having a boyfriend before. neither have i and a majority of my poems are either love or lost love.


  • Fritz O skennick gold member
    December 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Never caught any Twilight, but enjoyed the write anyway...

    Great narrative, rhythm & flow that made for a compelling read throughout...
    Keep up the good work & good luck in your contest...
    Well done!!!


  • StarOfDreams23
    December 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love this! I love the twilight series and I love all the pain in this wonderful poem!


  • abigail- - -
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is good, but for me it doesn't show the intense emotions that i felt while reading this scene in New Moon. I really like the lines

    "You took my feelings away
    You slapped me with your voice
    The worst part you did,
    You gave me no choice"

    and the repeated lines also.

    I saw the comment about this being a song.
    actually, i think it would be much better as a song

    oh, and a grammar thing.
    "You took my heart and torn it apart."
    torn should be tore.
    so the tenses match.

    good poem overall.


  • baconlicious112
    December 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This.is.amazing.
    it really catures what bella was thinking in ne moon.
    good job.


  • Dreamer With Dreams silver member
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like it a lot! There are some grammar issues, but it is very good! It takes me right back to when Edward left her in New Moon! What a terrible thing to do, but you captured the scene very well. Well done!

    Safely hidden in the darkness,

    ~ The Rocker Who Lost All

  • Sophie 1
    December 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Pretty good. You've done a good job of showing the concepts of the beginning of new moon.


  • ruthie fallen angel
    December 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i liked how it repeated good job

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