These shores have oceans between them;
washed away remnants of souls
that have drowned.
But further up the landscape;
beyond that hidden cove,
where we left traces of our embrace
unsettled in shifting sands
is tomorrow's dream
beaming against subtle ripples of life.
Author notes
43 Words
A contest entry
- Footprints by Peteskid.
1500 points, ended December 5, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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there's a dream-like quailty to this poem. it is soft as many have already stated. the coral background makes this a near perfect presentation. water is soothing and it heals. beautiful. [ILT] [SSS]
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a good poem i clicked this as i have one with a similar title, but yours and mine are so different. i love the soft imagery here, sand and time and distance all rolled up with love's power.
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i understand this contest is a very "cliche" topic, and very difficult to write about without being "cliche" ... and the prompt from the title makes one think of that poem "footprints" author unknown ... when reading this it felt the same way ... cliched, nothing to say to me, "holy shit" this is great ...
it's well written, just fell into the bland ... would i come back to read it again ... i doubt it, i think you can write better, i've seen you can write better ...
*cheers* and yes, i can be an asshole like this, as long as it makes you feel, and dance ... -
Wow, so soft and so beautiful. This really inspired a great vision in my head as I read. I love the gentle flow, much like the ocean your poem describes. You used some beautiful descriptions in this, and the message it conveys is lovely too.
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words measure us sometimes, tell us how far we can see how deeply we can feel, how far our thoughts can travel to find a nod and an echo...this is thoughtful, soft and beautiful. Thank you for this fine entry into the contest and best of luck in the judging...PK
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