Hollowed things with broken eyes
Watching me struggle to survive
Its red poison trickles down
beneath the nose, into the frown
Screaming, nail marks digging deep
Waiting for this soul's defeat
Author notes
Picture found on Google engine search.
Picture URL : http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u120/ownedbyjason/screaming.jpg
Artist unknown. If you know who this piece of artwork is copyrighted to, please notify me with the URL of the original!
A contest entry
- Anything Your Heart Desires by Rhapsody.
550 points, ended December 27, 2008, 98 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Wow that's creepy.
great job with this, it gave me chills. However, it's should be its. Other than that, amazing.
-
I'm usually not too keen on rhyming poetry, but this one flowed really well and brought a good atmosphere. I felt that all of the rhyme, though, was really pedestrian and predictable. I understand it can be hard to write on a picture, with the restrictions/mindsets that come with it automatically- but I felt you could have stepped out of the "cliche" box and made the greatness of your other writes come through in this, also.
Jeanette*~
P.S. I think the picture is from somewhere on deviantart.com, not sure though. -
Wow, i love this. Thanks for entering. Good luck
Adding your comment:
