A maiden voyage
Waiting for it's shore
- Rescued
Heavy steps on solid grounds
hit silken sands,
with my sailor
-Survival is pure bliss
Thoughts of you
thoughts of me
enveloped together
Sharing mysteries
of starry skies
beneath a silver moon
glory of the magical night
draping..
Tonight
we will sail into oneness
Warm hearts
Drink a toast on this cruise
of time
Staring into heavens
as we pass
..Into the night
Waiting for it's shore
- Rescued
Heavy steps on solid grounds
hit silken sands,
with my sailor
-Survival is pure bliss
Thoughts of you
thoughts of me
enveloped together
Sharing mysteries
of starry skies
beneath a silver moon
glory of the magical night
draping..
Tonight
we will sail into oneness
Warm hearts
Drink a toast on this cruise
of time
Staring into heavens
as we pass
..Into the night
Author notes
Option 3.
Really bad writer's block Julie. But I'm doing this for you and you only.
Love. Alyzeh
In a list
A contest entry
- Semi Quickie PIF contest by Reptile Lady by Reptile Lady.
800 points, ended December 8, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Romantic Pre-Writes by poets whisper.
700 points, ended December 13, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Aw I loved this one
It speaks from the heart
the imagery you portrayed is wonderful
Thank you and good luck
Julie
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'Sharing mysteries
of starry skies
beneath a silver moon
glory of the magical night
draping..'
What beautiful imagery you have expressed in this poem! Well done
Mariana


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interesting use of the ships and sea imagery. the trope of two ships passing in the night reworked here, works. and i like the lightness of being in the steps upon silken sand, like walking on water. -silversandsfish


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THIS IS THE BEST WRITE YOU have ever written.
THIS IS SO AMAZING!
Ahhh, you stole my breath away with this.
How beautiful is my daughter?
How beautiful is her heart?
I love you, you have blown me away with this. There is such a feeling of romance here.
Love,
your Mama Jin
.
jin -
-
Thank YOU!
You have no idea how much all this praise coming from you means to me.
Thank you so much for the guidance, I can't thank you enough. You are just lovely! Much beyond that actually.
Love always,
your loving daughter,
Alyzeh
-
I echo your every word Jin,
Alyzeh has grown so much as a writer,
and comments like this will only boost her confindence
thus more beautiful writes
All the best to you Jin
Ken -
-
Thank you Ken!
This is just amazing,
I am learning from the King ofcourse.
Thank you for all the praise! I'm speechless. Yes, I am. I thought I was going through the ugliest writer's block ever. You and Jin have certainly motivated me to write more.
Love
Alyzeh -
Awww, thanks Ken. She makes me proud. All my AP kids do.
It appears I have a few
, she is growing up and blossoming into a wonderous voice.
Alyzeh, dont ever doubt your power as a voice. It's postively diamond sharp, and pitch perfect.
you should be proud sweetheart.
-
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to jin: you are a regular fertile mertle.
-spawningfish
-
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it was a night to remember
-
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You're welcome Jin
-
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Just like Jin said, this is a very romantic poem
You are getting better at it with every poem you write, and dont stop
Lovely piece of work here Alyzeh
All the best to you in the contest
Ken

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Wow. Alyzeh. This is amazing. I don't know what writer's block you are talking about. This is just pure brilliance. I wish ME, I hadn't entered the contest now! Hehe
Great work. Good luck in the contest.
Much love
Ylova


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a wonderful poem your imagery is beautiful good luck inthe contest
maralisa


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Whoa.. Beautifully written. I'm just dumbstruck here. Wow.. Good luck in the contest!


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Thoughts of you
thoughts of me
enveloped together
Perfect, my lovely girl.
I want you to tighten this up,
try and take out the thes, ands, we, remember who you're writing this to.
This is an invitation, and it hasnt happened,
and he probably knows you're speaking only toand about you and him
This is by far the strongest, most romantic poem I've to read from you.
Keep tightening it up till it sings my sweet girl.
Okay?
Love always,
Mama jin


-
-
Awww.. Thank you so much for the lovely comment. I really do need all the help from you.
You are an amazing poet. Please check again, what do you think? I've made the necessary changes. Let me know.
Love and more
Alyzeh
-
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aww wow, this is so amazing, and wonderful. good luck in the contest and take care

love you ♥

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