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Into The Night

A maiden voyage
Waiting for it's shore
- Rescued

Heavy steps on solid grounds
hit silken sands,
  with my sailor
-Survival is pure bliss

Thoughts of you
    thoughts of me
enveloped together

Sharing mysteries
  of starry skies
beneath a silver moon
  glory of the magical night
              draping..
Tonight
  we will sail into oneness
    Warm hearts
Drink a toast on this cruise
                          of time
Staring into heavens
            as we pass

                ..Into the night

Author notes

Option 3.

Really bad writer's block Julie. But I'm doing this for you and you only.
Love. Alyzeh

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • Reptile Lady gold member
    December 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Aw I loved this one
    It speaks from the heart
    the imagery you portrayed is wonderful
    Thank you and good luck
    Julie


  • Mariana gold member
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    'Sharing mysteries
    of starry skies
    beneath a silver moon
    glory of the magical night
    draping..'

    What beautiful imagery you have expressed in this poem! Well done

    Mariana

  • silverfish
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    interesting use of the ships and sea imagery. the trope of two ships passing in the night reworked here, works. and i like the lightness of being in the steps upon silken sand, like walking on water. -silversandsfish


  • JinSays gold member
    December 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    THIS IS THE BEST WRITE YOU have ever written.
    THIS IS SO AMAZING!
    Ahhh, you stole my breath away with this.
    How beautiful is my daughter?
    How beautiful is her heart?
    I love you, you have blown me away with this. There is such a feeling of romance here.
    Love,
    your Mama Jin.
    jin


    • Alyzeh
      December 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank YOU!

      You have no idea how much all this praise coming from you means to me.
      Thank you so much for the guidance, I can't thank you enough. You are just lovely! Much beyond that actually.
      Love always,
      your loving daughter,
      Alyzeh


    • Ken-Maverick
      December 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I echo your every word Jin,
      Alyzeh has grown so much as a writer,
      and comments like this will only boost her confindence
      thus more beautiful writes

      All the best to you Jin

      Ken

      • Alyzeh
        December 4, 2008
        Edit | Reply

        Thank you Ken!

        This is just amazing, I am learning from the King ofcourse. Thank you for all the praise! I'm speechless. Yes, I am. I thought I was going through the ugliest writer's block ever. You and Jin have certainly motivated me to write more.

        Love
        Alyzeh

      • JinSays gold member
        December 4, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Awww, thanks Ken. She makes me proud. All my AP kids do.
        It appears I have a few, she is growing up and blossoming into a wonderous voice.
        Alyzeh, dont ever doubt your power as a voice. It's postively diamond sharp, and pitch perfect.
        you should be proud sweetheart.

  • Ken-Maverick
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Just like Jin said, this is a very romantic poem
    You are getting better at it with every poem you write, and dont stop
    Lovely piece of work here Alyzeh

    All the best to you in the contest

    Ken


  • chilali
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Alyzeh. This is amazing. I don't know what writer's block you are talking about. This is just pure brilliance. I wish ME, I hadn't entered the contest now! Hehe Great work. Good luck in the contest.

    Much love
    Ylova


  • maralisa silver member
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a wonderful poem your imagery is beautiful good luck inthe contest maralisa


  • MD Masroor
    December 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Whoa.. Beautifully written. I'm just dumbstruck here. Wow.. Good luck in the contest!

  • JinSays gold member
    December 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thoughts of you
    thoughts of me
    enveloped together

    Perfect, my lovely girl.
    I want you to tighten this up,
    try and take out the thes, ands, we, remember who you're writing this to.
    This is an invitation, and it hasnt happened,
    and he probably knows you're speaking only toand about you and him
    This is by far the strongest, most romantic poem I've to read from you.
    Keep tightening it up till it sings my sweet girl.
    Okay?
    Love always,
    Mama jin

    • Alyzeh
      December 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Awww.. Thank you so much for the lovely comment. I really do need all the help from you. You are an amazing poet. Please check again, what do you think? I've made the necessary changes. Let me know.

      Love and more
      Alyzeh


  • luna-midnight gold member
    December 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aww wow, this is so amazing, and wonderful. good luck in the contest and take care
    love you ♥

1 - 18 of 18