Life and death, perfect loyalty, they always go together,
going through this world with arms round each other.
If you try to escape from one,
you’ll be forever lost in the other.
And I, I don’t know where I stand tonight,
because I am lost, no matter what.
Why does it always have to be this way?
Must take what life gives, even if it means my pain.
Not anymore because tonight I’m going to break free.
Tonight, I will stop the lies which are smothering me.
Life and death, alone, in a dark room with me -
two loyal friends, both calling my name,
and I have never felt further from any of them.
Watching two great paths cutting through dark,
I am still walking on a thin line in between.
I may never know which path I should follow,
I may never know which side I should be on.
Vivid images and dancing light waiting on one side,
the other is motionless, full of nothing – a perfect place to hide.
I need to hide and rest from this pain I’m trapped in,
that’s why nothingness seems far better to me.
But wait, these are not suicidal thoughts,
I am just feeling permanently lost.
Have to stop thinking, or I will go insane.
Have to lose this only thought stuck in my brain:
Life or death, what shall it be tonight for me?
*
Enough with the questioning!
No more painful mind games,
because, tonight, hope is my only way.
No matter how pointless life gets,
we can find a reason to wake up again.
There is always something left to believe in,
and, if I don’t let it, dark side will never win.
Not a living soul should let darkness take control,
that’s where love and happiness will never find their home.
Surrounded by nothing, we disappear as well,
hidden in the emptiness, we lose our power to create.
And creativity is the most precious gift I own,
with imagination, sky is the only border I know.
The power of words is incredible:
all the great writers will live forever,
through their words they became invincible.
There is still one thing I fear:
that greatness will stay out of my reach.
But, I won’t let dark thoughts get to me now,
hope will not abandon me, and this is why:
brilliant minds have come and gone,
who knows, maybe I am one of them.
But, if brilliance simply passes me by,
I will never stop trying, because I know:
great beauty is hidden in every single try.
Author notes
I tried to get inside the head of a person who's trying to commit suicide, I was wondering what somebody thinks in that moment. People parting that way are cowards, in my opinion. We can always find something that will bring back the hope. That's what I wanted to show with this poem.
A contest entry
- Beautiful minds....please enter. by islekine.
760 points, ended January 11, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - very tough contest :P (don't just sit and enjoy your holidays without poetry ) by abuyi.
1400 points, ended February 22, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me a reson to keep breathing by Sanguinarius.
1200 points, ended February 4, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Special poem
I believe you can change many poeple when they read your all poem
Especially this poem because it Lighting my road
Thanks you my teacher and you Creativity without borders..
Keep going dear
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Thank you so much for reading dear!
I'm glad you found a bit of peace by reading this.
Nela
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i kinda agree with l ame perdu. having stood on this ledge many time and it goes with out saying that it unique with each individual. also this need revision. there are no mistakes just a revision to make the flow better
background is okay.. your font is easily readable
i enjoyed reading it and thanks for entering. best of luck -
Having stood on this ledge many times, I appreciate your trying to analyze this. You've done amazingly well, but I believe that this inner monologue can't be "generalized", that it is unique to each person.
But that goes without saying.
This poem has potential. First thing, the background clashes. It's such a tiny nitpick, and it might just be this computer; but it makes such a big effect. Though you are certaintly free to do as you wish, I would recommend making the main background solid, and using the fancy design for the edge.
Next thing, would be not *CAPping* the beginning of each line, but rather, just capping sentances. For me, Capital letters either denotate *I* or *God* or the start of a new sentance. THis is a nitpick, sure, but it helps a lot, I think, in adding a level of maturity to your work.
Thank you for sharing, and Best Wishes,
Zach -
u know my thoughts
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that is absolutely fantastic!!!! i love love love that!!! yea, you got it pretty much, from my view anyway...
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this is really good
this is an awesome poem
you really seem to get into it
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fucking hell.. :- o 'BRILLIANT.'
this IS an amazing write nela, my darling..
you have, in this poem alone, summised the pain i have felt for such a very long time..
by my reckoning, EVERYBODY who takes the time to read this will have something they can ALL relate to?
'brilliant minds have come and gone
who knows, maybe i am one of them?'
superb.
millions of love...
/alastair.. xxx
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