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A Certain Slant Of Light

Her eyes are raised heavenward,
exposing sun-kissed brows
as she swings to and fro
carrying the wind in her tresses.
I watch the sunlight filtered through
foliage youthful as her skin weave into
shadow - the checkerboard pattern
of her soul printed on her fair visage.

I watch as the rest of the world flees
from the gray-blue of monsoon.

Yet one upturned face, soft as the

falling rain herself moves

back and forth, back and forth...

She does not look for a stray ray

of warmth while she can still find

contentment in the storm-plagued skies.

 

And now the wind gathers in her skirts,

as yet she charts the pendulum's course.

Maple leaves, the ginger of her hair,

tossed mercilessly- a great, inexplicable

beauty. No cloak is drawn into which

to shrink; simply eyes wide-opened

To live in rapture, to live in song.

 

Comforting glows of amber suffuse

homes replete with holiday cheer

as Jack Frost blows over the land.

Snowflakes.Cherry blossom fingers

reach to capture the descending tufts

of white, trusting long enough to 

release the frayed ropes of a swing

that has journeyed through the 

changing colors of an alien world.

Author notes

With respect to the contest ' My Welcome Back', Option 7.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Theme : The seasons through the eyes of someone whose eyes live in a world of true greatness.Lofty words, I guess but that's the best explanation I can offer.
* *POY Contest*

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 36 of 36

  • Element27
    March 25
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    Beautiful!

    So alluring, yet.... simple. Nice rythm. Thank you for sharing this!


    • Overcast
      March 29
      Edit | Reply
      I am going to make this my Project for the Summer-- find other ways of saying 'Thank you!'.


  • individuality gold member
    March 19

    Edit | Reply
    i like the colours roaming throughout this poem, it adds to the richness of the piece, the seasons hitting the senses, a good poem.


  • malmadre gold member
    January 24

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful imagery here, swinging through the seasons. There is such joy in each verse, I can see why this one was honored with two wins. You express yourself so well and take command with such wonderful descriptions.


  • Dragotha
    January 20

    Edit | Reply

    Ohhhh ahhh

    This poem brings such words from my lips. I really enjoyed the imagery and the construction of this work. Good luck in the contest


  • dustookie2
    January 20

    Edit | Reply
    There has been much said in comment already on this piece... be guided by what has been said but in the end you are the author take on board the advice as you find your feet...it is all about learning and moving forward as a poet. Good luck in the Nature lovers contest.


  • Frodofan silver member
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful beatiful imagery. So vivid. I am not one for free verse, though I like blank verse, but this was very good. If you could work your great skill with description into rhyme and meter... whoaa... you'd really blow me away. This is beautiful writing. Keep it up. Thanks for reading my work. I really appreciate it.

    And if I may say so, Arkbear is notorious for judging on things he knows nothing about.

    • Overcast
      January 16
      Edit | Reply
      I'm a huge fan of your work so the appreciation means a lot.Thank you!!
      I tend not to work with rhyme..but OK, maybe I'll give it a try, sometime?


  • Man of Harlech silver member
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    The pissy classroom comments from the poetry police are the very reasons why I stopped submitting poems to the Critical Poetry section of AP. I actually took the risk of letting myself feel this poem and its interplay with my perceptions. Your fourth stanza was magical.


    • Overcast
      January 16
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for your time, and for the lovely comment!
      What a great way to begin the day


  • cricketjeff gold member
    December 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Another strong entry, I don't agree with all the other judges comments but I think between them they have covered what I would want to say

    Jeff


  • Arkbear gold member
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hello ~

     

    *forth,back*....space needed

     

    *And now the wind......not a fan of beginning with *and*

     

    *Beauty,No*...space needed

     

    Ok......Wow....wow......reeeeally nice work here.....yes, there are grammatical issues in various places, but the work is what I adore most, and so I have over-looked most of those small errors ~

     

    The only thing I can really find to *critque* here, would be your balance of SHOW & TELL ~

     

    There seems to me.........to be more Showing going on, leaving me a tad......motionless ~

     

    I am not saying I was not moved, I am saying, that with as much Show as you have, there should have been a journey of more than just the minds eye ~

     

    Over-all.....another excellent example of how to win in this contest......it is up to your other 8 Judges......and me of course ~

     

    I wish you well....your talent shines.....good luck!

     

    Bear ~

    • Overcast
      December 31, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      I've read a couple of your pieces so the approval means a lot.Thank you!
      I shall certainly look into the editing once the contest is over.I appreciate the advice


  • islekine gold member
    December 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Aloha and Welcome to POY!

    I really enjoyed this write...your words are magical...
    the only criticism would be all of the "filler" words you used...and in most cases..they weren't necessary. Also this stanza reads horribly...
    Yet one upturned face, soft as the

    Falling rain herself moves
    Back and forth,back and forth
    Through the thunderous deluge.
    She does not look for a stray ray
    Of warmth while she can still find
    Contentment in the storm-plagued skies.

    especially with no punctuation and all caps...which is usually not a good thing...I had to read this three times to get the flow...
    Thanks for your entry!
    Best wishes in the contest and always!
    Write on!


    Remember: No editing once a judge has commented.Yet one upturned face, soft as the

    • Overcast
      December 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Criticism is always a bit hard to take, but I see your point.Thank you for the lovely comment.I will sincerely try not to use fillers so much, now that I notice..


  • oceanbluize
    December 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "Maple leaves, the ginger of her hair are

    Tossed mercilessly- a great, inexplicable

    Beauty."
    A magical line that stands out to me...I see you are in the same contest as me as well. In the line---the ginger of her hair are.... are i find not to be needed, it becomes a filler word since it is not needed to convey your thought into the next line...this is a mundane detail however considering the thought exercised in this extraordinary piece...Best of luck!
    Ocean

    • Overcast
      December 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hmm.. I didn't think of that.And I can't edit it right now, either.
      Thank you very much for the comment and the advice!


  • hks
    December 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    favorited*

    ;D!


  • Immortal Obscurity Greeters member
    December 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hi, and welcome to the POY

    While this was incredibly-written, it was a tad long for my taste, and you lost me about halfway through; I'm horribly ADD though, so it's not all you

    You have a fantastic vocab as well! Thanks for entering, and good luck!

    Laura


  • arafura gold member
    December 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very well written. I love the depth and clarity of your work and look forward to reading more of it. Good luck in the contest!


  • Overcast
    December 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you all for taking the time to comment - and for the lovely comments, too! I really appreciate it.

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    December 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hi there and welcome to the POY I adored this write another one of my favorites for this contest I agree I am not to fond of each word of the line upper cased but other then that I love it remember no editing once a judge has touched your work.


  • ZachP
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    As someone who's had the works of Dickinson crammed down his throat by his AP English teacher, I must tell you that the title absolutely drew me in -- A little bit of me was ready to raise a plagirism hue and cry -- (having done it before, I'm glad I don't have to do it again)

    This is a beautiful poem. I love your language, the imagery and the flow is superb. Good luck in the POY.

    • Overcast
      December 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you.I didn't know such a poem existed until you pointed it out, actually.The phrase just came to mind from a book I read a while back.


  • Stormy Days
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    good theme
    first every first word of every line is capitalized that's not good
    i like how it is written tough
    ~GOOD LUCK~
    *Mystal*

    • Overcast
      December 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I didn't realize this was a problem.It's how I write all of my poetry and nobody's ever pointed this out before.I will keep it in mind next time, though.Thank you.

  • A-muse-in-writer
    December 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    BEAUTIFUL

    Wow, that is so sweet. Sighs. I can just adore that as if it were a glimpse into a beautiful short story. Loved it. I am a sucker for emotions and images.


  • chilali
    December 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A new poem! Wow. This is amazing. Seriously. I am so glad you finally wrote something new! Good luck in the contest love.

    Much love
    Ylova


    • Overcast
      December 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      THANK you!
      I just had to take a break from everything yesterday and I figured what better way..

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