Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

I saw him for the first time

I saw him for the first time,
When we were young,
I couldn’t take my eyes off you,
You were always there for me,
Why can’t you just stay?
A little longer.


Oh.
Seeing you,
Seeing me,
I want you with all my heart,
I desire you.


I want you,
I need you,
You’re always there for me,
I know.




Oh.
Seeing you,
Seeing me,
I want you with all my heart,
I desire you.




I need you.

Is this song good enough for the band

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • jamesbliss
    December 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    First off: I am no musical genious, so you'll do good not taking my opinion too seriously.

    You know that recent pop song that has the line "Noticing you, noticing me," well, the lines "seeing you, seeing me" resemble that song a lot. But I guess if the rythm is different, then it's okay.

    Also, the ending is very aburpt. I was expecting an "aha moment," but none came.

    Also, the lines are pretty common. I think I heard "I need you" and "I couldn't take my eyes off you" about 1,000 times.

    Nevertheless, there is some potential. The flow was pretty good, and the message is rather cute.