She sits and cries
Over all his lies.
He never knew,
With him she was through.
He treated her like dirt,
Her heart began to hurt.
She thought it was fine
She couldn’t see the sign.
He never cared,
Her anger flared.
It was never meant to be.
A contest entry
- Happily Never After... by sora..
400 points, ended December 18, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I like the rhyme, the short punchy lines make this piece powerful. A strong message as well, and a sad story.
Well penned,
~lost -
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thank you
thats very good feed back
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this makes me feel and see from a completely different perspective. i feel this character's anger and sorrow. you write with an irrepressible passion that shines through your words. well done taz, once again - you are constant inspiration to me!
keep up the amazing work!
btw i hope this isn't about you and donny..? xxx
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im glad u like it i think i feel another poem coming on ;p lol its about time i wrote another one
thank you again
and no it isnt one of my poems which isnt about my life
xxx -
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o goody! i wana read some more of your fabulous work
don't rush yourself with it lovely, just write when you feel the need, and relax about it, it's not a race, just take your time
thank goodness! i would hate for you to be upset over that
glad you are happy xxx
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i believe you will be better off without people who treat you like "dirt".
very emotive write.
well done & good luck!
=] -
taz,
WHAT do u mean its not gud. this is EXCELLENT. HOPEFULLY its about ur hate for donny. oh well
this really is amazing.
xxxxxx! -
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thanks
tho again not about the dissing donny part...
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