picture her sashaying leisurely in torrential rain storms
openly bearing the sins of past lifetimes, unrehearsed
ever-present with her totality intact, fused to musing
temptations most overwhelming, tasty on her tongue
rationale seldom outweighs passions from a torn heart
yeaning to become what silent requisitions authorize
after sincere deliberation she gives way to hefty sigh
liberated from insistent stronghold of her inner-child
imitating only the reflection seen in morning's mirror
tried temperament roams in uncontrolled slow motion
yesterday's insecurities blown away by a brisk wisp
A contest entry
- Reader meet Author by george the 23rd.
1500 points, ended December 3, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
critical comments please. THANKS!
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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More than green..
Blazing, searing beautiful words!! -
whata vision for that first line! sashaying leisurely in torrrential rain storms. there's no question, we're dealin with someone that can't be moved by outward circumstance. won't lose her cool. i like the way you allowed each succesive trait to meld into the next. so that in some places more than one significance applied. really loved this line here:liberated from insistent stronghold of her inner-child
imitating only the reflection seen in morning's mirror. though, truth is i don't think any of these lines can be isolated from the whole. i like what you did here. nic -
it sounds like you know yourself well - and are comfortable with who you are. best of luck in the contest.
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This poetry is surreal! You have exposed the poet I have come to know and respect with urgency, almost like there is a desperate need for the masses to know whom you are, and why you have come here. I can so appreciate your bearing your soul to us. The task is never easy when boldly lay open our hearts.
Congratulations on winning the green trophy. You deserved that and then some!
april nicole
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You have talent that gets to me. Like a song
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I loved the rhythm to this write! It has a stream-of-conciousness flow like water...
Very well done!
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Renee
I'd seen this contest. You don't happen to lease that mirror out, do you? I'd like to rent it for a while. Mine is the "worst" liar!
Glad to meet you, Mrs. Matthews.
John
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This is different from your usual style, but you have done brilliantly. Bravo!
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