She made her last mistake this time,
he is not listening to her anymore,
he has had enough,
enough to leave her,
Enough to say goodbye
he isn't coming back,
Not anymore
no, he just needs to be alone.
Girls want to talk it out,
Boys want to drink it out,
walk it out, walk it off,
maybe she'll learn,
he deserves better, he deserves more,
guess it's time to call it a wrap.
She calls just to hear his voice
not sure what to say,
desperately searching for closure
from the pain,
he just wants her to go away,
leave him alone,
he doesn't want her pain, he doesn’t want her reasons
He doesn’t want her, doesn't want her at all.
Girls want to talk it out,
boys want to drink it out,
walk it out, walk it off,
maybe she'll learn,
he deserves better, he deserves more,
guess it's time to call it a wrap.
He wasn't going to stay forever,
should have known that by now,
she wants throw the phone against the wall
but sees that she’s not so
maybe she’s not so hopeless,
she is beginning where she thought her life would end,
she is opening her eyes not his
ready to figure things out,
maybe she can learn after all.
Girls want to talk it out,
boys want to think it out,
walk it out, walk it off,
maybe she'll learn,
he deserves nothing, I’ll give him no more,
guess it's time to cut the crap.
Guess it's time to leave it alone,
he is not coming back for her,
should have known that by now,
He was never there
Never cared
It’s time to
live, learn,
and move on.
Author notes
Basically just took Ms. Wonderful 's great poem and changed a few lines.
A contest entry
- Re-Writes by Ms. Wonderful.
800 points, ended December 18, 2008, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Wow. That was cool how so much of my poem is still there but it is no longer is mine. The words are so alike but the meaning is so different. It's my situation through a completly new pair of eyes. That is interesting how you did that. My favorite part is, "she is opening her eyes not his
ready to figure things out,
maybe she can learn after all." In my poem she is desperate to see from his eyes, but in yours she is desperate to have her own opinion on the situation. I think I like that way better.

-
-
Hey thanks a lot it means a lot coming from the author. I was worried you might be mad that I kept so much of your poem in, but I'm glad to see that I was mistaken.
-

