Happiness eludes me
'Til you come around
When I hear your voice
My feet can't feel the ground
And we could run so far away
Never look back again
Forgetting all that they say
Together 'til the end
Momma's always sayin'
"He's not the one for you"
Daddy's always yellin'
"He better keep away!"
But it doesn't matter
What they say or do
'Cause I would give almost anything
If only you could stay.
But we could run so far away
And never look back again
Forgetting all that they say
Together 'til the end
I have this question in my mind
'Why can't they let us be?'
And the answer they always give
Is that they wan't the best for me
But maybe what's best is what they hate
To them, I'd scar from your touch
And for you I reach through this iron gate
The strength in your arms, I need too much.
But we could run so far away
And never look back again
Forgetting all that they say
Together 'til the end
A contest entry
- Seduction of the mind. Females Preferred. by HomeGrown.
1000 points, ended December 26, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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beautifully done...
I love the way you flowed... very lyrical... kinda like honey flowing down the page...
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GRET WRITE! I can really relate to this poem. It took forever for my family to officially accept my boyfriend, and i always felt like we were being watched and talked about... then he would leave and it felt like i was getting judged by how we acted... I understand the "Why can't they let us be?" question...
Great Write! -
It's so very lyrical, I'm nearly reminded of the whole "Leader of the Pack" thing. I'd love to see more imagery, like toward the end with the iron gate or "I'd scar from your touch". It starts much more plainly and it sets a stark contrast between the beginning and where the work ends up. Like you only warmed to the idea halfway through. Just my ideas, I love the poem!
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OMG! its so beautifully heartbreaking that i cried....
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