The moon glistens elegantly upon a field laden with the richest wheat and rows of freshly grown corn. It is the perfect place to tuck myself away from reality. Here, I can reflect in peace. I spill secrets from my holly-green eyes, entangle myself in warped love. I won’t be the first one to say “sorry” this time.
With bloodshot eyes closed tight, I listen to the whispers surrounding me. No, I am not insane, just exhausted. This love has taken all of my energy. I’m merely stuck on the splintered carousel of my own thoughts as it spins violently, incessantly…
Yes, I was just wondering if you could tell me who I was before I turned into this monster. Before my hair became permanently greasy and my eyelids translucent. I know there was a time when I could create my own happiness without having to breathe in amphetamines and my skin was thick with a desire to be alive. I used to have a name, a familiar face, an identity. Now I am nothing but a skeleton with paper-thin heartbeats and mottled bones made out of the sleekest ivory.
On my way home, I glance at the ground, and my hands quiver at what I see. A light blue egg shell, cracked right down the center.
The bitterness of the fight sinks into my teeth, rotting them down to my gums, through my nerves. I cannot lick the revulsion off these lips. I want to cut out my reflection in the mirror and scratch it to shreds. If I can’t love myself, then neither can she. We all have a choice, and this is mine. I want to cry because she has to hate me after everything I’ve done. I tried to love her, but I destroyed her instead.
Later that night, I get a phone call.
“She got into an accident. She’s dying,” they tell me.
I drop my phone and run. The stench of antiseptics and medications that don’t really work cling to my body as I sprint down the halls to room 151B.
Approaching the hospital bed, I reach for your hand, which is already faded and cold, bringing it to my cheek.
“I’m sorry.” I say.
Author notes
Title #6: Take This Time To Make Amends=]
A contest entry
- Lowercase Titles: 5th Ed. by lowercase prelude.
1200 points, ended December 12, 2008, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
"Yes, I was just wondering if you could tell me who I was before I turned into this monster"
--wow i know this feeling
" If I can’t love myself, then neither can she"
--that is so powerfull to me.
this is such a beautifully painful poem. i really enjoy reading your poems -
Holy Moly~
My Word this swells the eyes and Powerful imagery also emotion!
Too many Excellent lines to quote but Love how You presented this verse~
Bravo!!
Grabs on all levels
Congratulations on Your Trophy win!
-Throws confetti-
Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooo
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
-
this is so good.
its an amazing story filled with heartache.
i love how it ends its great it gave me chills as i was reading it.
i enjoyed it so much!
your Faerie
-
Ahhh ohmydearatlantageorgia ! Dearest, this is fawking BRILLIANTTT. You are amazing, talented, incredible, metaphoric, and a master at imagery. For real, I think that's one of your strong points. Just the shit you write...it's incredibleee. Like this:
-The moon glistens elegantly upon a field laden with the richest wheat and rows of freshly grown corn. It is the perfect place to tuck myself away from reality. Here, I can reflect in peace. I spill secrets from my holly-green eyes, entangle myself in warped love. I won’t be the first one to say “sorry” this time.
...
how the fawking fawk. Gawd, that first line left me nearly breathless, second line "perfect place to tuck myself away from reality"; how true is THAT. Third line, goes perfecttt with the second line, adds more of a touch to it. Fourth line, love the "holly-green eyes"; AMAZING. & "entangle myself in warped love"; love the word play there. Very creative; & the last line? ah-HAH! Hell yes. I love the control in that line. Brilliance right therrrre.
-I’m merely stuck on the splintered carousel of my own thoughts as it spins violently, incessantly…
...
Wowww. For real? I love that. & how it kind of leads you off to something else at the end there. Woo. Amazinggg.
-I know there was a time when I could create my own happiness without having to breathe in amphetamines and my skin was thick with a desire to be alive. I used to have a name, a familiar face, an identity. Now I am nothing but a skeleton with paper-thin heartbeats and mottled bones made out of the sleekest ivory.
...
annnd THAT is my favorite part of the ENTIRE POEM. How did you write that!?! Honestly? I'm in awe after reading that. Even though you showed it to me before you put it on here, well this part, ahaha, it just completely blew me away. You use such powerful wording techniques and brilliant metaphors and imagery and just wow. You blow me awayyy !
-The bitterness of the fight sinks into my teeth, rotting them down to my gums, through my nerves. I cannot lick the revulsion off these lips. I want to cut out my reflection in the mirror and scratch it to shreds.
...
I just love how you put that together. I can just picture that in my head as I read it; I love the whole "I cannnot lick the revulsion off these lips" AMAZINGGG. Gawd. I'm jealous :] I also love how you ended this, too. It really wrapped the poem up into something wonderfully and beautifully sad, and it was just wow. I don't even know :] The whole fact that it was written kind of like a story, which is prose basically baha, it just blew me awayyy. I love youuu ! Keep writing foo ♥♥♥
-
This is incredible. Your imagery was breathtaking and the emotion was so strong and REAL I swear I almost cried. I love the ending, it's so bittersweet...[kind of]
-
Wow...
This is a stunning write
Rich in emotion and the imagery/story is portrayed well
Excellent
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
