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Altering

Rude awakenings in the night,
from thoughts wild and new
Ideas

Wild burning, cause of fright,
the mind leaning askew
Insanity

Each new sensation, euphoric high,
damned things foreseen
Wretchedness

Blood flowing quick, soul awry,
desiring liquid sanguine
Condemned

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • UnManned4Ever
    December 8, 2008
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    Interesting and dark. I like it. Well formed and great flow. Keep up the good work


  • NyteShade
    December 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow Whit this piece was amazing. Love the flow and the rhyme in this piece, it was thoroughly well played out.

    Keep it up

    NS


  • Aquarius
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ah! I love this!!!
    Especially when you're like, "Wretchedness"!

    "Wild burning, cause of fright,
    the mind leaning askew"
    x100 for using the word ASKEW!


  • Dmonik
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is excellent, Whit.
    The rhyming scheme, the form and structure, all a winning combination, and the words you chose...stupendous.
    I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece.
    Bravo

    'D'


    • FieryHollow
      December 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much! I like to try and use different words X]

1 - 5 of 5