colors seem to follow you
like the left over streaks
of fireworks
and the wind seems to carry
your brightness
train-like behind you
almost as if you are
walking down that aisle
toward someone waiting
that you know will never be
what you need
so it dies out a little
your lights
and you sit in that dimness
in your head
and contemplate things
that i know nothing of
i just wait
impatiently
for the next big explosion
of color
wait for the wind
to carry me behind you
i could ride your colors
all the way to wherever
it is you are going
or
you could drop me off
along the way
Author notes
ok. so the picture reminded me of this chick who is very "colorful" to me ... she has this energy that comes and goes .(much like myself) and so i wanted to reflect the fact here, that i could in fact take her as is, or lend myself to her (if she needed), or just ride it out ...
A contest entry
- flicker by Death of the Author.
1000 points, ended December 11, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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your brightness - I'd remove the "your" but other than that, a great first stanza.
I like the last stanza also, it's just the bits in between that aren't as good to me I'm afraid.
I like the inspiration you took from the picture though. Thanks for your entry.
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i could vividly picture this in my noggin, maybe because i can relate on some personal level. reminds me of streaming charkas as well. anyways, this is one of my more favs. although i suck at explaining all the reasons why.
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Or maybe she is you
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This is a rather nice one. the second and third stanza fit wonderfully together. The word "color" was a perfect choice for what you were trying to describe here. Well done!
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