Vindicated

I pulled into the darkness
Waiting for the lights to cut out
Cracked my window and lit up a cigarette
I took a deep huff and let it out with a sigh
Leaning back in my seat and looking to the glove compartment

I took another deep drag and leaned over
Eyes squinted as I sucked in the nicotine
Pulling out my window scraper
The blade was sharp, but not clean enough
I twisted the bottom off and let the tube fall in my palm
Pulled the cap off that and let the blade slide out
The vindication that pulsed beneath the cool steel

I laid it down on the dash as I yanked at my jeans
I kept the same pattern going down my thigh
Gripping the edge tightly I put some pressure to my flesh
I let the full four-inch blade slide across the same spot
Sinking deeper into a pool of purple-red
I let it go again a little lower
Making two crisp lines

Oh the sensation that takes over me
My head fell back and my mouth came ajar
My cigarette fell to my lap
Burning my skin ever so slightly
The smell of blood in fire twinges at my senses

This is the last time I’ll let it take over me
I put the blade back into the tube
Let it slowly fill with blood
Placed the cap back on and tossed it through your window
I’m letting go of you
And I’m letting go of the pain

It’s time we say goodbye for good