Lenina stripped. The Savage was shocked.
or so Huxley said!
But We all know what truly happened.
The Savage licked his lips and instantly stripped too
He had never seen a beauty
white and naked before,
and before he knew it,
he was trying out something new;
a 'rimjob' so Lenina called it.
His tongue went straight for her white ass.
Then she got herself a whip,
Flick! Flick!
It went on his ass.
Screams and moans filled the air,
the couple, the Savage and his bitch
fucked, and sucked.
"What do you call this?" He asked.
"Anal sex, and now for round two!"
"Oh Brave New World" he said,
and dug his cock straight into her ass.
Author notes
Stipulations:
20 lines no more no less
no letter 'S' in the title
must use:
FLICK/RIMJOB/TONGUE/ANAL/SUCK
This is more or less a parody of the novel "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley.. which we are studying.. the supposed seduction scene.. "Lenina" and "the Savage" are the names of the characters in the novel.
The word "Brave" here does not mean courageous but means "beautiful", it was ironic in the novel.. it is also between "..." because it is quoted from the book.
1. Why you feel you should win this challenge.
I am not sure if I have an answer for that. All I will say is that, I was annoyed by the question but after having finished my write.. I feel I have a tiny chance than no chance, and I feel good about myself. This is a real challenge though, I was not quite sure what erotic humour is and I don't feel that my write is humourous.. I have tried reading "adult humour" and could never find it "humourous". Anyway, I will leave that to the judges to decide. I am satisfied with myself nonetheless.
2. What you liked and disliked about it.
I was never a fan of team-work, but these challenges have proven me wrong, and I really liked that. I was shocked by the idea of a magazine, but it turned out much better than I expected or could have ever imagined. I liked how you - all - have allowed me to be part of the "Notorious Erotic Challenge" and how I have been allowed to try my hand at many different things. I must say the Erotic Challenge has been and IS one of the toughest, and I have even thought many times of withdrawing but I am glad I managed to make it to the final round. The only thing I truly disliked was in challenge four (the story challenge). The constant change in deadlines was a real pain, especially since I had entered my write hours before the FIRST DEADLINE.. which was changed and I ended up losing points on punctuation and grammar which I could have fixed if I had more time. Master Ktulu copied the challenge statements/rules for me but I still don't like it. You changed the deadline therefore entrants should have a chance to edit their work. That was the real "piss off". Otherwise, it was great.. and very mind-provoking!!
A contest entry
- The Erotic Challenge (Final Round Season 8) by Master Ktulu.
1800 points, ended December 6, 2008, 4 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter all your poems that begin for a number, character or symbol. [series, part 2 of 27] by xxRainbowDawnxx.
600 points, ended June 19, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Lol it makes me smile! It's certainly different to the literate work with the same name anyway.
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this poem is stupid, have you even read brave new world? the savage would never do anything like this which makes this poem unbelievable, perhaps thats why you call it a parody? a good parody points out something rediculous about the subject, a bad parody just aims for cheap laughs, of coarse this is a horrible parody because it only points out something rediculous about the author, the fact that the author can even write
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I loved it... It's not usually my type of poem but the title intrigued me. I've studied this book, picking apart the very soul of the author and it's refreshing to find a new take on any of it's scene. So kudos on your creativity.
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i am sorry that there were things in the challenge that you found frustrating. at times things do happen where extensions are needed in order for someone to continue, things that could not have been predicted ahead of time.
i also agree with calling these challenges "Notorius". they are well known. at times they are fun and you can sit back and just let your imagination take you where ever and other times you really have to put some thought and effort into the pieces that are required. they really are challenges.
i must say your word bank was difficult and would have really thrown me for a loop but you came through like a pro and i am glad that you didn't throw in the towel.
spelling/grammar=20
how well you handled the challenge=20
presentation=20
grab me=20
overall=20
total=100 -
Thank You!!
Thank You for Your entry: "Oh, Brave New World"
This piece tugged hard and though I am not as talented when it comes to Erotic Humor (just like my story writing). I base on how it makes me feel, how reader friendly it is to digest but most of all- did it have cohesiveness I thoroughly enjoyed the story for You had me at the end chuckling- gave me quite a laugh and loved how You took a book and made it Your own with a spin-very Creative- While I was reading which I do several times before making a comment~ Images come to me in many forms~ while taking in Your words: I was able to envision the scenario- This is Your Strongest piece I have read~ Bravo!!
You had a challenge of incorporating word bank (hardcore) also line count- Overall I would have certainly found it difficult myself to pen such a piece as this
Execution Wonderful
I will try to keep this one short but in summary
Magnificent verse entered ~
Challenge Matrix:
spelling/grammar/punctuation- 20
presentation/creativity- 20
how well you handled the challenge-20
"grab me" effect (how much did we enjoy reading this piece)- 20
overall-20
For a total of 100 points
Sensual images & message You have brought forth
Thank You for sharing Your Talent!
Hope to read more...
Best wishes to You in the challenge Sweet Soul
**Judging will be done shortly...
Many blessings too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
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I have to agree with Ktulu on this one. You hit the perfect score for me too. It was funny and it was really well written. Sorry about the problems you had in the challenge but it was kinda inevitable this time around. I think you developed wonderfully for me at least and I am very happy to give you my first perfect score of this final round.
Spelling/ grammar/ punctuation: 20
Creativity/ presentation: 20
Grab me effect: 20
How well you handled the challenge: 20
Overall: 20
Total: 100 -
Nooni;
First let me start off by saying that I am glad that you held on and made it to the final round. I am not sure just how "notorious" this challenge is but I am glad it was tough enough to be a challenge. As for round four, I am sorry about the deadline changes however, it was not the first time we had to push that back in this challenge, which is really why we had originaly wanted to do away with any extentions at all. But, you made it through and should be very proud of what you have accomplished.
As for this write, I must say that you truly stepped up and brought forth an amazing entry. I define adult humor as being edgy and sexual but also able to laugh about a particular situation. I think you nailed it here.
spelling/grammar/punctuation=20
how well you handled the challenge=20
Very well done and very impressive.
presentation=20
grab me effect=20
Excellent storyline that I thoroughly enjoyed from start to finish.
overall=20
Congrats this is a perfect score that I feel is well earned.
Total= 100
**Master Ktulu**
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