i cry over spilled milk ever since i 1st saw you.
i let them walk bye me not even seeing my face.
its torn with pain and hope is lost now
the full stops seem pointless to me now
they only end a beautiful thing
it echos in my head that some day i will end
i will end my own life or be token from the world
i think about over and over and over again in my mind
and i no that the knife will not save me
it only worsen the pain that i am so deeply in to
i can not stop it from over flowing i can't put a lid on it
yes i can smile and act like its never there
but i feel it under laying grip on my head , heart soul
i can scribes on paper with red ink i
can scribes on my wrist to make the red ink
let it poor just to make the full stops have a point even just for a wile .
now my pain still behind my eyes is covered bu a another day a another fake smile
do i love you no no i don't but i wait for you and hope for you and love for you
i hate you now we both no it i hate you now even more
why am i so filled up with this hate i don't no but i do no you
so i hate you with ever day i hate you more and more and
love you more and more but yet i clam not to love you.
i can hope that you love me even if just for one day you do i can see you smile.
one more day in this world it is not even lively i try to work this out and not to cry .
not to cry over spilled milk
its in the past now what can i do to save it to save you to save me
and now its meant to be a joyful time
its harder to say i don't love you.
...
Comments
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i honestly think that this poem is truly amazing. however, there are several grammitical errors that take away from the poem. like
"life or token" should be "life or taken". " i no..." should be "i know" you should fix the errors to make the poem more intense.
otherwise it was a very good write. very intriging and raw and deep. :]
xoxo___Sam:]
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nice poem, its rly deep
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awesome
OMG u shud totally go into song writing these poems are really deep lyl xxx
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there are a lot of errors in this poem. it would help a great deal if you would fix them.
istead of using '1st' use 'first'.
'walk bye me' should be
'walk by me'
'life or be token' should be
'life or be taken'
'and i no that the' should be
'and i know that the'
'i can scribes on' i'm not sure exactly what you mean here, but it would sound good if it was
'i can scribble on'
to be honest, you use the same words over and over again. try using a thesaurus to find different words. it'll give your poem a neater look and it'll flow better.
also try using more punctuation. you have a couple run-ons that make this extreamly confusing to read.
you also jump around quite a bit.
if you fix up a few things this poem could be good. [:
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