Dopamine (December.2.2008)
Shivers
Crawling over my skin
I can't tell where you end
Where I begin
I can feel every sensation
When I close my eyes
There's no more emptiness inside
Just visions of you and I exploding through my mind
In this moment
Of total perfection
Don't let it go
Don't let it go
No
And the chemicals
Are flooding into my brain
My heartbeat
Is pulsing through my veins
And I'm blinded
By this ecstacy
I'm addicted to you
Like a moth to a flame
My love
Is overflowing from within
I need to feel this forever, forever
It's the sweetest of sins
To release my inhibitions
Into shattering lights
Take my breath away, just hold me tight
We can float away and leave this world behind
In this moment
Of total perfection
Don't let it go
Don't let it go
No
And the chemicals
Are flooding into my brain
My heartbeat
Is pulsing through my veins
And I'm blinded
By this ecstacy
I'm addicted to you
Like a moth to a flame
© 2008 Amanda Emlay (All Rights Reserved)
Author notes
Yeah.. not sure if I've went too far with this one.. lol.
Tell me what you think of the content!
M
Is there anything missing?
Comments
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I really like this, that feeling of oneness as the ecstacy of the moment takes over and passion turns into overdrive. The expression of the deeper need flowing in the undercurrent. Dopamine is "the" most powerful of the aphrodisiacs , excellent title.
On the by, "And the" in the start of the second and also final stanza seems a bit cluttery as is the "my" before love. I like the starkness a single word gives to the introduction of the first stanza and feel that this piece is strong enough to not need more to introduce the rest of it. Or I could just be blowing steam out my......
Excellent write my dear, still a bit dark, but I know of how you feel.
Peace be with yo
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I totally agree with you about the cluttered feelings.. but I guess until I sing it, I can't tell where it is off.. Sometimes when writing lyrics, I make it sound good to read, but it doesn't always come out easy to sing
And if it ever goes to song, I just might change that. I appreciate your words as always Amelus!!!
*hugs*
M -
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You are right ma'am, in know that sometimes when we sing a piece the one syllable word is stretched into three, or the cadence is sped up to allow the extra verbage. I find that if I write a poem and change it over to lyrics, sometimes quite a bit of revision is needed.
Excited to see you writing again my dear,
Peace
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