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157 reminders

When I wake up
There they are
Painful reminders of what I have done
A part of my past that never goes away
157, I counted
157 reminders of countless
Failed attempts to stop
157 red purple lines disgusting to me
157 reminders of my past riddled with lies
157 reminders of painful nights
They never go away
Sure they fade but never completely
But now I have 157 reminders
157 reminders that I did quit
157 reminders that one person can make a difference
157 reminders of a person that held me when I cried
157 reminders of the time you found me
On the bathroom floor covered in blood
157 reminders of my will to never give up completely
And to try to stop one more time,
I wont lie it is hard
A battle every day
Filled with anger and pain
But by far my respect goes not to the so called “hero’s”
It goes to cutters who are every day
Dealing with the scars, the questions, the looks, the judgment
157 reminders that prove it is possible,
157 reminders that will never leave my side

Author notes

I cut for many years, it was a way to get some relief, others didnt and still dont get it, but they dont need to, I now have 157 "reminders" on my left leg from ankel to knee cap, honestly quiting is the hardest thing i have eve done, and that includes quiting drugs and smoking, every day is a battle and at night when you are alone it gets worse,
but when you do finaly quit, you feel that final reliase of pain, sadness, and everything else put together. You realize once and for all, you are free from the addiction of cutting. Not matter what anyone says 1000 failed attempts to quit are worth the one that works, I hope this helps feel free to message me if you ever want to discuss this poem or anything else
annesall235

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Comments


  • Mrs D
    December 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations!!


  • lianna27
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    great write...i really get waht you mean...i wake up every morning to see all my scars..it hurts just to look at them anymore...im glad u found it in you to quit i am currently working on that great job


  • annesall235
    December 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thank you


  • Lonely Christina
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    omg 157! wow and i thought that 20 sum was bad..... thanks for this entry it is amazing! and i love ur authors notes it made it much more personal. ur goin in the finalist list 4 sure!