Growing old,
It's part of life.
Growing old,
Spending time with your wife.
Times are coming to an end,
But oh the joy it is.
No more worries that descend.
Only life and friends.
Champagne,
At dinner time.
Champagne,
For friends of mine.
My oh my,
The day grows short.
My oh my,
What am I worth.
Your time?
I hope so,
My wife,
I'm sorry that I'll miss them grow.
I love you kids,
I love you so much.
There's no words that can explain this,
I'll miss your hugs.
Author notes
This is in the view of a dying old man who is enjoying life while he can(:
A contest entry
- Old Man Photo Prompt by OldBear34.
1000 points, ended December 16, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Another contest poem, tell me how it is(:
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I don't think you need to repeat yourself over and over in each stanza, it takes the seriousness out of the poem. Without the repeat, it'd definitely send a better message, and give it that 'pop' you're looking for. Just maybe replace the word that you repeat with something else.
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This poem is very inspiring .... If you ask me it seems to have a hidden message in it. Like enjoy life whilenyou can cuz when it's the end it's the end. And I I've how you can put urself in an old mans place and write a poem about the endof his life... Don't get me wrong it's sad but the way you write it was clever.. And I enjoyed reading it.... It was onderful and a good read if shows how unique you really are!!!
Taya
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Nice Effort
Somehow your poem seems to have poor flow, though the story and imagry are good.
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The ending was the best part, the beginning seemed forced.
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this just makes you feel old. though its a great right. good job.
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aww this is sad,but well understood, life is more precious as we grow older and feeble, thank you for sharing and good luck
VOE
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