For the sake of the stars that have shone in this light
In the name of the blood that has tainted the sky
Give me an angel give me a saint
Give me a reason give me a sign
As wounds freeze over and I'm left behind.
And scraping the scars that spell out your name
And at the blood because I cant feel the pain
Give me an angel give me a saint
Give me a reason give me a sign
As this is so cold most of the time
I don't want your words
Fickle and fragile as bloated birds
Gorged on the flesh of those who haven't survived
Cry havoc and let them fly into this sun
In the name of the blood that has tainted the sky
Give me an angel give me a saint
Give me a reason give me a sign
As wounds freeze over and I'm left behind.
And scraping the scars that spell out your name
And at the blood because I cant feel the pain
Give me an angel give me a saint
Give me a reason give me a sign
As this is so cold most of the time
I don't want your words
Fickle and fragile as bloated birds
Gorged on the flesh of those who haven't survived
Cry havoc and let them fly into this sun
Author notes
“In the name of the blood dripping out of the sun
I call out your God, till before me he stands
But don't send me Jesus, he's only a man” from “Meat Sandwich” by Gwar
i hope this is sufficient...kind of ran with the prompt and lost the religion bits a bit of the way through. meh.
A contest entry
- The Mystery Lyric Prompt Contest Part 1 by Glasyalabolas.
1400 points, ended December 16, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I love the use of repetition. I can see why you say it looses the religion train of thought, but it all depends on how you read it, the whole piece comes across as loosing faith and the pain and anger that can bring, or the realisation that there is nothing there, or at least, not what you thought was there, either way, it works both ways and doesn't loose that as much as you might think.
Sorry about messing up the HM's.
Good write.


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thanks for the crit, i appreciate it.
and that's alright. i just participate for fun, and it was a great contest with engaging prompts, so i am satisfied.
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wow...really powerful stuff
i like


