She undressed me
with her eyes
Unmasked my disguise
Saw right through my soul,
took full control
Then lead me to desire
filled my flesh with fire
Consumed me with her lust
and turned me into dust
Swept me up like dirt
left me confused and hurt
A contest entry
- Pissed Love by Hateful Apathy.
2200 points, ended December 14, 2008, 30 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
My goodness, I love this
Short and sweet and straight to the point.
Not a word wasted.
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Alright, this was pure amazingness. I agree with Pat with the rhyming. And with the having to deal with that situation...'cept I was that girl.
Anways, brilliant, I'm glad Pat put it on the FL.
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I rather fancied the rhyming, it seemed to flow, not be forced. The situation itself is also something I've known before. Hmm, good work.
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damn..
I been there a time or ten..great piece of writing kid, sure makes for a sad story that inspires one of those all night 'drinking the pain away' deals.
lots of luck in the contest my friend.
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