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The doomed bride


My master bade me bear her here
Where he would win her heart with fire
The maiden trembles in her fear
The victim of his vain desire
      She'll wait for him she has no choice
      The evil forces thus conspire
      She's held by his remembered voice
      The victim of his vain desire
The dreams he wove now fill her mind
With songs composed for daemon's choir
She's left redemption far behind
The victim of his vain desire
      My master bade me bear her here
      The victim of his vain desire

My heart is filled with doom and dread
And sounds that echo from his lyre
Inveigle her to join the dead
The victim of his vain desire
      The wedding banns will be proclaimed
      And ring like bells from highest spire
      This path for her was preordained
      The victim of his vain desire
And I his humble stead must fade
I dare not face his awesome ire
I could perhaps have saved the maid
The victim of his vain desire
      My heart is filled with doom and dread
      The victim of his vain desire


Author notes

A double Kyrielle sonnet

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me honestly what you think, good or bad.

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • XLadyElinorX
    February 21

    Edit | Reply
    I am not sure what to say - but this is amazing. . . beautifully haunting and mysterious. . .and the form is so well crafted, I an speechless again. . .excellent, poet.

  • Tercarro
    December 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Congrats

    Well done you wrote a wonderful piece of work here. Nice take on thw subject too.


  • Amera gold member
    December 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I see why this won gold! I love the Kyrielle sonnet and you proved that it works perfectly with the dark genre. Bravo!

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • JinSays gold member
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thie is gorgeous.
    Bittersweet, romantically seductive.
    Wonderful, thank you for making this contest special, this is truly gold, from the first stanza on down.
    Love,
    jin


  • moonbumps silver member
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This should win hands down Jeffkins-brill write all the way-
    Bumps


  • Ceridwens Soul silver member
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yummmmy just right to curk up with me mug of mik drink for the night. I love your dark side it certainly brings your pen out at its best .

    AB FAB

    Love and light,

    Jem xxx


  • Myjoy gold member
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh I love this Jeff.
    It is very good, and it sends a chill up my back.
    Lovely photo. Haunting words.

1 - 7 of 7