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In Time Mate or In Time I Date ? - Love's [h]alter-wring or altar ring ?

Deep in My Gnarly Heart Dear by Anua22a.

Is passion palled by plenitude,
or, consecrated, sated ?
castrated by its magnitude,
once baited is abated ?
Is passion passing interlude
its pride of place vacated
when self by self is too imbued -
in_time_mate intim_I_dated ?

Is love pursuant to pursued

with chaste and chased related,

missel_toe issue tissue wooed ?

bourgeois romance out-dated ? 

 

Is love some sort of magic trick,
or sleight of wishful thinking

which senses sweeps in augenblick,

then changes course a-winking ?

Is love life's candle, wax, trimmed wick,

in time's rhyme ego linking ?

fidelity through thin and thick ?

complicity gone kinking ?

Is Love emotion’s fiery flick
or blatant double-thinking

returned to loved-one double quick,
upon reflection sinking ?

 

Is love light uncontested beam,

star-studded, scintillated,

or shared commitment as a team

regularly restated ?

Are passion plays part of heart's scheme

[t]win-win anticipated

to foster further fondness, gleam

fantastically fêted

as variations on a theme

confirm the term related ?

Or should one, wary of extreme,

prepare for fall check-mated ?

 

Is passion part of heaven's game

Chance challenging unshrinking,

deflecting Fate from some false aim,  
from former flame unthinking ?

Is passion love, love passion tame,

or echo self-hoodwinking ?

channelled through some karmic claim,

or opportunist skinking. 

Is love self-interest staking claim
or counter Fate moves inking ?

or shameless counterfeit quitclaim ?

on blameless vestal pinking ? 

 

Is love tsunami torrent stream

wave pupils wide dilated

or self-delusion's mirage dream,

peer pressure instigated ?

Can passion rhyme with peaches, cream,

through humdrum soar elated

to reach peak plateau, stay supreme,

joy never dissipated ?

Or must Time take its toll, lose steam,

as tears evaporated ?

 

IS Love ? – if ‘tis, if ‘tisn’t - what’s the use ? 
Grounds hidebound logic lists sound vain, abstruse !



Author notes

robi3_0979_burg1_0002 PXX_LXX


[h]alter_wring  altering, alter wring, halter wring/ring or altar ring ?
augenblick : German blink
skinking ... either skinklike from skink alert agile lizard with reduced limbs and an elongated body covered with shiny scales ... or skin king ... or both ?
kinking ... kinky and or curling
quitclaim : transfer of property or lien
missel toe or mistletoe ?
pinking : blushing


Background Heaven's Gate http://flickr.com/photos/59303791@N00/2264774824/


Anu Heart http://flickr.com/photos/anua22a/3083007515/


In Time Mate or Intimate ? ... Intimidated or In time I dated ?


See :
Abstrosophy



If echoes from some fitful past
Could rise to mental view,
Would all their fancied radience sue
Or would some odors from the blast,
Untouched by time, accrue.

Is present pain a future bliss,
Or is it something worse ?
For instance, take a case like this:
Is fancied kick a real kiss -
Or really the reverse ?

Is plenitude of passion palled
By poverty of scorn?
Does Fiction mend what Fact has mauled ?
Has Death its wisest victims called
When idiots are born ?


Gelett BURGESS 1866_1951

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Comments

1 - 42 of 42

  • BeachBum1
    October 30
    ?
    Edit | Reply

    wowzers

    Very clever and well constructed I definitely salute you on the rhyme which must have taken a long time to complete. I feel you have taken care and time to perfect this piece to ensure every beat of the poem is exacting. I don't feel this is a poem everyone could read because of the lengthy words and vocab used, but fear not I wasn't deterred. You made me question love in a new way, and your poem although confusing me at times almost reflected love as being that 'more questions than answers' type way. so Overall I loved it. congrats and thank-you for entering good luck in my contest


  • sinfull
    September 23

    Edit | Reply
    I always thought it had something to do with not saying sorry (fridge magnate philosophy) What a delightful tongue-in-cheek commentary on the many things love might be. This verse reads very quickly..and demonstrates how assonance really affects the sound and cadence of a poem. very well done!


  • pixiestix gold member
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    There are so many questions with love which you demonstrate in this well written piece. I truly enjoyed the read and especially your play on words.

    Very clever and impressive. Thanks so much for entering my contest.


  • kylierenea
    August 17

    Edit | Reply
    Great poem! I really like how you used so many words that rhymed with each other so much. It created a really cool feel to the poem. Keep up the good work and thanks for entering my contest Good luck on your others as well


  • 2lullabyhaven
    August 16

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on a most superbly written poem on love...thanks for sharing it with me...lots of love...


  • Sweet-Sins
    August 15

    Edit | Reply
    i like the questions- i liked it all!
    gr8 write!
    xx


  • Little Lesley
    August 13

    Edit | Reply
    I lurved it! Really. It's great.
    Wish you the best of luck!
    ♥~Little Lesley~♥


  • Trapped Destruction
    August 6
    Edit | Reply
    I really like it. I like the beat of it and the words. It's really good.


  • lesbian-in-love
    July 31
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for the read. It was good. Thanks for entering and good luck!


  • MJ Forgives
    July 30

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked your poem. At first I saw that it was long and thought oh no. I hope I don't get confuse about what this poem is about. But when I started to read it, I got into it. You did a good job. Good luck in my contest!


  • Shy Little Lamb gold member
    July 30

    Edit | Reply
    WOW congratulations on all your trophys you earned every single one of them. So passionate and loving. Being in love is so special and causes alot of happyiness. Thank you for sharing and it is a pleasure to read


  • Mango Memories gold member
    July 22

    Edit | Reply
    wow!

    This is epic!

    im so shocked!

    well done

    i found this to be one of the best reads of today!


  • aeolia
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    Okay, I adore the theme and I quite like the poem upon which this is based. The background and photo raped my eyes, and the Comic Sans isn’t helping; it looks so juvenile. As for the poem itself, it was enjoyable and I applaud your command of metre.

    However, the language felt a bit convoluted and sort of pretentious, which turned me off. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not dense and I myself like to write in an archaic, elevated style, but the constant flow of images, questions, and internal rhymes clogged it [like “missel_toe issue tissue wooed” – what the hell?] and made this seem much more pretentious than it is. I stopped caring about halfway through, to be honest. That basically sums up my criticism.

    You are a skilled writer and you obviously are talented at rhyme, though; thanks for entering and not sucking.

    -Eira


  • Ami
    June 27

    Edit | Reply
    wow great write and also I loved the background and pic thank you for entering and good luck
    -♥Amy♥


  • Cyanide Dreams
    June 27

    Edit | Reply
    What a great write. I liked how this flowed and how it seems all backwards, yet, tells such an awesome story. Great job and good luck in the contest.

    Josh


  • BluRosePoet8488
    June 16
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering and good luck! Keep the ink flowing!
    ~Donna~


  • XxForeverFaithfulxX
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    This was amazing. I love how well it flows. Wonderful write. Keep it up. Good luck and thank you for entering my contest.

    ~Kayla


  • Simp
    April 26
    Edit | Reply
    After reading this a couple of times and it may be the way I'm reading it but it makes me think of a poem form that I want to write. I don't know how to explain it, I don't know the name of it.

    It's better spoken though. When people read it, they're just so into it. They never hold up any paper, they memorize it all, and it's usually longish.

    They read, their voice fits so well and they pretty much pour their hearts out. Hearing them perform it live, in person, is an awesome feeling. Its almost like a song, and they're just speaking the words and automatically, music plays ...but it isn't actual music. Everyone may hear music and the tone may or may not be the same. It's music that just works, that just fits, that you just hear when they're speaking it.

  • Simp
    April 26

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for joining my second contest.
    I had fun reading the first twelve lines out loud.
    The whole thing was enjoyable to read loud though.
    I like this line, "IS Love ? – if ‘tis, if ‘tisn’t - what’s the use ?

  • Hungry Joe
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    You do what you do do well. I may think that what you do is the lavatory paper for young Terrences mortal bath of unhappy bubbles of anal wind, but for people who like this sort of twat, it's sure to be worth reading twice.


  • 2lullabyhaven
    March 2
    Edit | Reply
    Intensity rules in this one, thanks for your entry and good luck to you

  • Poet.m.not
    February 26
    Edit | Reply
    Well written...excellent piece.


  • Captain Amber SL
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    I think that this is a beautiful, in depth write, with a question we've all asked ourselves before: am I the one you love, or am I just the best friend? Also, your rhyming and meter is amazing. You have some incredible imagery thrown in there as well.

    "in_time_mate intim_I_dated ?"

    I absolutely loved the clever manipulation of words in the above line. You have a natural way with words, and it is a true gift.

    I wish you the best of luck, and keep writing and improving your poetry. ^__^

    Aeris Silverlight


  • Serenity-words
    February 20
    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing. I loved the flow, and the wonderful vocab. you used! Great job!!!!


  • morgana raven Greeters member
    February 8

    Edit | Reply
    You used some really amazing words in this. What I have noticed about a few of your poems is that you take the time to put an emote between the stanzas which is a nice visual touch, you also took the time to add a nice background and different picture.
    Well written, thanks for entering.
    Laura


  • Coloured Skies
    February 3

    Edit | Reply
    This was an amazing write,
    But it did confuse me a little, but the ending I thought that was the best part

    Great write, good luck and thanks for entering.

    Tash.


  • Erozay
    January 29

    Edit | Reply
    this is good but it really confused me and i had to reread it then again alot of things confuse me but it is good


  • Trill - Trickle
    January 20

    Edit | Reply
    Great Poem!
    Keep up the good work!

    THank you for entering!
    ~ Trill


  • Chaoticfrolic
    January 6
    Edit | Reply
    This is truely a masterpiece


  • Mythtress
    January 5

    Edit | Reply

    Outstanding

    Your play on words, the rhyme...both inner and outer...are wonderful, I am left speechless. Wow, wow, and double wow. I think I may have to add you to my list of favorites when this contest is said and done. Excellent.

    Write on, poet.

    Blessings,
    Myth


  • waydownuponjoy
    January 5

    Edit | Reply

    A great poetic reflection

    of love ... coursing through the woods of "ifs' and whys" while the end result of the hunt remains to be seen! I find your use of language and poetic tools a plus and the way that you mind ranges through the many scenerios and takes this reader's mind to new heights is certainly deserving of a Gold from me! Good luck in this contest. jy


  • januaryrain gold member
    January 3

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely poem, great rhythm and rhyme. I love your background.
    Well done.
    thank you for your entry.


  • Karl Weiss - Topaz gold member
    December 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely done, thank you for your fine entry.
    Note this contest does not allow prewrites.


  • iamlost gold member
    December 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the rhyme, both end line and internal, and especially the way you play with formatting and the words. A very deep poem, it took me a bit to read, and I know I didn't understood it completely (impossible for a poem of this depth with even two readings), but what I did get was a strong message and a creative interpretation of the prompt. Amazing, my hat's off to you for your poetry skill.
    Well penned,
    ~lost


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You are a master at the exotic creative poems
    I really enjoyed reading this piece
    Your AN bring your words into perfect understanding especially skinking..
    Best wishes to you
    Julie


  • Star Shine
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I thoroughly enjoyed "in_time_mate intim_I_dated ?" Very clever. I am now quite confused, however, about the confines of love and passion!! Very nice dance, best of luck in the contest.


  • Mariana gold member
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You play with words like you are feasting on tomorrow.
    I love it

    Mariana

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A thoughtfully questioning lyrically bent poem full of alliteration and assonance...abstruse or obtuse...in time or in time i date...what we wish to keep forever and ever amen or that we may let of and relegate to fictional fantasy level of differential within the swivel swift shift of lip that proclaims a four letter word like a weapon to threaten...lordy lordy i know the shame blame pain of the pretend kiss of poet's lips...love alter-wring or alter ring...happiness ring a ding dongs an harmonic song and the reality of sadness trings in a sha la la long...passion is the purpose...the flame...the truth...but never the shame of the player's game...we may love amd mourn passionately...completely...but those that only pretend to feel are not real and may never be able to deal anything except an alibie of a lie...if you have to alter walter then he isn't worth the weight...you wouldn't let you're daughter walk the walk with him...so there can be no doubt about talking the talk with his chameleon green gremlin skin...


  • Mr Id
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great use of language and digestable, short length.

    Great work!


  • Dark TwilightPrince
    December 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    nice

    It has some many double and even triple meanings maybe more.I love it!

  • michaeline
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think that there is alot of imforation and thoughts in this piece.Gives one alot to think about and each time you read it you come away with something new.Pretty good I think.If I were to change anything it would be to not have as much expressed in it as it takes away from each thought and skips the meaning of each line.


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Again, a very fine, write, indeed. I enjoyed the imagery which you created. Thanks for sharing this one with us.

1 - 42 of 42