How many tears do you cry
when you’re all alone?
Sat broken in the darkness
wondering if he’s coming home.
You should have known I loved you.
Should’ve known I’d be there.
But you made your own bed
and dressed it in despair.
So don’t expect my sympathy
when you pushed me to the side,
just because you figured out
he’s been taking you for a ride.
I can’t stop your heart from bleeding,
it was never mine to hold.
Time to face it honey-
Your treasure was fools’ gold.
Author notes
Prompt - “Torn like an old dollar bill
Girl let them say what they will
That no one should hurt you
And thats all I seem to do
That no one should desert you
And thats all I seem to do”
Dollar Bill, Screaming Trees. (number 14)
I see this as a bit of an appology from a guy to a girl. I put myself on the other side, and wrote from the perspective of a third party and jilted ex, commenting on the relationship from the quote. Hope that makes sense. 
In a list
A contest entry
- The Mystery Lyric Prompt Contest Part 1 by Glasyalabolas.
1400 points, ended December 16, 2008, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Oh My~
Excellent take on the prompt and Love the message You have brought forth
Bravo!!
Powerful weaving of words~
with tight rhyme
Congratulations on Your Trophy win!
-Throws confetti-
Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooo
Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
-
I love how this relates to the prompt. They rhyming works really well and is itself very lyrical. I especially love the first three lines, reminds me of a few lines from Lord Of The Rings.
Congrats on Silver.
Good write.
-
WOW! I know that one! Sounds like my ex, Not sure if he is still the same, but he was always "on the other side of the fence" Leaving me alone... When I finally woke up, I lost a lot, but refused to live that way any longer...
This is great honey, but then again all of your writings are!
Best of luck in this contest!
and love
Nyetta
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really emostial and real
love you and your poetery
-
You should have known I loved you.
Should’ve known I’d be there.
But you made your own bed
and dressed it in despair.
I love that stanza
-
Nicely done!!!
Great narrative, rhythm & rhyme wrapped in a heartfelt plea that flowed seamlessly & made for a captivating read throughout...
Felt it, lived it, loved it...
Well done!!!
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