Stolen kitchenware screams undaunted;
Promises broken and then forgotten.
Only pleasure is that unseen;
Rapture from this remains a dream.
Whispers to stop, pleads to cease;
I can't give up my quick release.
The walls draw near to broken flesh;
I remember each slice, a memory fresh.
Scars that refuse to fade haunt my sleep;
For if memory isn't enough, physical pain I keep.
Nearly fatal mistakes cover what's left of me;
I wonder if this curse will ever let me free.
Desire unparalled, this need is an urge;
Because of the scars I keep, I feel I've lost my worth.
Mistakes have made me who I've come to be;
For being a slave to my knife will never make me free.
Author notes
I wrote this poem just for you. Just know that there is a way out. My AP name is Angeladowns. Thanks for reading this.
For the options contest, I used option number 4. =]
my AP name is angeladowns.
A contest entry
- How do you deal with....? by Lonely Christina.
900 points, ended December 4, 2008, 40 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark, dark, and even darker by Luciferschild.
600 points, ended February 24, 94 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Painful Side of Life. by November-Dani.
900 points, ended March 1, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter all your poems. by xxRainbowDawnxx.
700 points, ended February 20, 281 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Addictions by LOVELYmurder.
600 points, ended March 24, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What's your constructive criticisms and thoughts on my poem?
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Stolen kitchenware screams undaunted; Promises broken and then forgotten. that stanza was the strongest in my opinion, possibly because it didn't rhyme. Nonetheless, another good poem
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Nearly fatal mistakes cover what's left of me;
I wonder if this curse will ever let me free.
That stanza had to be the most powerful one in the whole poem. It really expresses the struggle of self harm and how addicting it really is. Wow... Very deep and meaningful. I love the emotion you put into this. The addiction of self harm is such a psychological battle, it's very draining when you are fighting with yourself. This went indepth in very few words, I like it. Good job and good luck in the contest. -
Im speechless.
Such emotion.
So deep.
So meaningful.
So well done.
Thank you for entering. -
very well written, i loved the last couple of stanzas the most, thank you for entering my cotest and good luck
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as i said before i loved this one it was so brilliantly written from start to finish...good luck.
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Love it, probably the best one I read so far. It got into a lot of depth, with so little said. I can really relate to this also, which is always nice to do. Thanks for the entry, good luck
And hope everything goes well for you.
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wow.....this was really good i liked it
thankyou for entering my contest
really great write
xXalyXx -
I love reading somthing familiar. Thanks for the entry and it is a very good one for this contest. Really well done and thank you for the entry.
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Really nice right. ould be the addictions option or the self harm one really. Very clever use of the prompts
I liked the lines Nearly fatal mistakes' the best. They were very powerful.
Well done and good luck in the contests.
Thank you for the powerful write. -
Wow.
This is really great =]]
thanks for entering.
good luck -
Showing
And telling, thank you for sharing this. It's the sort of deep that usually isn't well shared, you did a good job of it. Thank you and good luck... -
Oh, I like this. I like it alot. I refuse to state my favorite part, because that would mean copying and pasting the whole poem. It's amazing.
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Excellent write here
And yes there is a way out always and first one must unlock the room wich you have imprisoned yourself within . Know you control your mind dont let your mind control you and yes you do have a choice you always have had a choice only its up to you to chose it and move forward unlock that door step out and tell the world here I come ready or not and be yourself do what will bring you joy follow no one for often to follow you lose that person within feeling left out and afraid to let go and enjoy life .
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Omg! You've got such amazing talent! This is amazing!!! I am really enjoying reading your poetry! Don't EVER stop writing! EVER!!!
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Incredible. You have a talent that kind of makes me a wee bit jealous
but also very happy to be reading your works
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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I enjoyed this poem and must say that i do have scars form a blade when i used to cut when i was ten...i've since then stopped but sometimes repeat my actions when i just can't help it. Though i'm not a slave to it...the knife has controlled me before...good luck.
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really nicely written ....
"Mistakes have made me who I've come to be;
For being a slave to my knife will never make me free"
these are very bold .powerful words ....
love it ..good luck ... -
This poem hurts me. It is so startlingly familiar I simply cannot describe it. I have felt this all before so often in the past and especially at the moment I'm fighting with these emotions everyday. You struck a very guarded very personal note in me. The rhythm in some parts is just perfect, especially here:
"Whispers to stop, pleads to cease;
I can't give up my quick release."
It rolls off the tongue very nicely.
Thankyou for entering this into my competition.
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great piece thanks for sharing such deep words
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wow let me start by saying thanks 4 writing this...was really good. and i kno there is a way out just i cant seem to find it...my fav line was "Scars that refuse to fade haunt my sleep;
For if memory isn't enough, physical pain I keep." amazing! good job and loved it
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