This illness baffles me
with it's twelve o' clock phone calls
and instant messages tied down
to the framed screen.
It beats me bloody,
thinking I might enjoy
the feel
of cold fingers frosting
to window panes -
it smears.
I leave the catacomb with something in mind,
that the stain on the floor is
not as merciful as I believed.
Things got in the way
when struggling with the cleansing wash
and bitter taste of soap in between my teeth.
It laughed at the dilemma,
and I stapled it's lips shut
with a taped yellow sign.
Author notes
I chose option number five with the song title "Life for Rent" by Dido.
A contest entry
- Huge points, huge options (Now with a free membership!) by Meroza.
16000 points, ended January 5, 115 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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wow. the imagery was so good.
"It laughed at the dilemma,
and I stapled it's lips shut
with a taped yellow sign."
--best lines. they almost stop you cold. but then the irony makes u laugh.
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Pretty intense
I may have gotten in over my head with all this excellent writing. Oh well, amazing grace, that's how I feel. Like maybe I should rent out my life to someone who might could live better or to find a better life. Not sure which.
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I thought this was your best yet. The imagery was fantastic- as was the dark yet not-dark feel to it (if that makes sense
). Everything was really just perfect. I felt the brevity worked in this. Some writes, they don't feel finished or leave a bad cliffhanger, but this didn't do either of those. It gave a chilling and raptured feel. The only critique I have, is in line nine, I felt the "to" was unnecessary and would read a lot better. Lovely job 
Jeanette*~
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Wow, this one is powerfull and very, very its own style...You sure bring out your personality in your words here, and I enjoyed reading this one.
Also, welcome to AllPoetry, I hope you will enjoy your journy here ^-^
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Welcome to Allpoetry
Hi, home
This is brilliant, almost like a darker version of the song; as much as I like Dido and her music, I think you did this much more justice than she ever could have
I love your darker take, and your imagery is awesome as well.
My only suggestion: Please make the font a little bigger, since I nearly went blind trying to read it Maybe it's just because my eyes suck, but I can't read a poem when it's written in a size 8 font 
All in all, though... Well done, and good luck in the contest, come judging. I'm glad to see you're getting involved, and I hope that you continue to enjoy all that AP has to offer
Write on!
Laura
Site Greeter
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Hm, I see your point. Thank you for pointing that out. Also, thank you for your comment. I really do appreciate it.
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