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Vanity Fair

i used to get so damn excited when you'd come to town
until i found out that you ain't nothin' but a clown
i had my hopes up high and now they're smashed on the ground

you put your mask on but i can still see through
now that my  |d r e a m s|  are transparent 'stead of blue
the only color i can't stand is the plain ol' sight of you

we used to laugh and joke and stuff
aw man but that's all gone
now your cowering in a corner somewhere
and i am ten feet tall
my moccasins tread lightly but my club done say it all

i'm a million miles away from where you are
and i don't bother wishin' on that lone star


because i know,
i know that you are
                              and i---
i don't want my dreams
to be all
inked by you again

things are different
times have changed
and i'm not the man i was back then

ah, i see through
and i see past stars
i lay my bricks down and walk
and brother, i don't watch for cars
oh, i head to sleep at night with a rock for my pillow
but i gotta tell ya man at least my belly's not yellow.

Author notes

man, this is fun to sing.

dec. 2nd, 2008: EDIT:: i changed the first line to what it was originally in my head. the line used to say "i used to get so damned excited when you'd come around" and now i changed "around" into "to town".

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • StupidxGirl
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I can imagine it would be fun ta sing
    Because it was kinda fun to read,
    the words are empowering, at least I think they are.

    I like this the best:
    "i'm a million miles away from you are
    and i don't bother wishin' on that lone star
    because i know, i know you that are
    and i
    don't want my dreams to be all inked by you again
    things are different times have changed
    and i'm not the man i was back then"

    I did see something in there that didn't sound right to me..."because i know, i know you that are". Maybe it's supposed to be, "because I know, I know that you are"? I don't know. As well as the first line, sounds like it's missing the word where..."a million miles away from 'where' you are"?

    Either way, it was my favorite part, especially the bit about dreams being inked by this person...People distort so easily.

    I'm rambling now...Good job.


    • Methusala
      December 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      no, not at all. hey thanks for pointing that out to me. was i high writing this or something? i can't believe i made such large errors. funny, though. you are right; that is your corrections are what i intended.