when green enters
the tender heart
clasping its ivy
ties around love's pulse
the foliage of eden
shrivels to wilt
a gate slams closed
in endless night
stars swivel jaundiced eyes
in search
of light
Author notes
Photo: Taken last night at the front entrance.
In a list
A contest entry
- Poetry That Matters by Cupcrazy.
3500 points, ended February 6, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
*
Wow, nicely put. I love how you used the color as its own (representative) entity, and the allusions to Eden and paradise, lost, work powerfully here. There is wisdom here, too, for indeed the light of love any any goodness is choked out when"green" enters. I love the "jaundiced" eyes--perfect for the absence of light and it gives a sense of sickness to the state of being. Short poetry, that matters.
-
This is a wonderfully succinct piece. Deeply compelling it leads one to ponder your thoughts processes. The imagery is splendid and although this is a shorter piece it looses nothing in its brevity but in fact I think the brevity makes one focus closer on each words meaning and their association to the others. Great work, hugs, Bunny
-
Like the green eyes in the darkness shining in headlights
-
Wow. I love the picture and this is amazingly deep. So very beautiful. I love it. Good luck in the contest
Much love
Ylova
-
Awesome picture and words to go with it...very deep and heartfelt...what beauty you hold within your soul...best to you!
Love,
sis
-
This is spooky
one, two, three
Little light
I can't see
Give some more
Green to me
This is spooky
one, two, three
Tiki Cat
Buy Tiki's Gourmet Cat Food
"Too Good For Humans"
-
So very peaceful...
Thanks for sharing your wonderful talent again!
Write on!
-
This piece mates with the piece so well. It has a sad that was almost tangible. Great job with it.
AsIThink...
-
Well done. Simple and elegant, it rolls off the tongue aloud. The aftertaste lingers in my mind as well.
-
"the foliage of eden
shrivels to wilt"
Wow! Nicely done. Wonderful metaphors. Good luck to you.
~Mary O
-
The perpetual pulse will be cut off abruptly and sent back to whence it came from. There is no despair, just emerald emotion. Ack.
-
This is truly an awesome poem! Its heartfelt emotion pierces the soul. I such a short verse you have captured the feeling of loss.
Love,
Amera♥
-
visceral
I felt this inside, the choking grip of jealousy. Every line has a powerful affect as images and associations accumulate. Marvellous poem!
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
