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Don't Try To Fix Me

Please...don't try to fix me
I realize I'm broken
Hiding my pain with smiles
the truth goes unspoken

They say time heals all
maybe that's true
So if time's on my side
what else could you do

A life filled with loneliness
now shows on my face
Whispers of darkness
a heart left to waste

I hold my own strength
I've survived through it all
So...don't try to fix me
if I need you I'll call

Author notes

Option 2- quotes: "Here I am,as perfect as I;m ever gonna be."

darlintlc

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • OnceUponAMind
    April 13

    Edit | Reply
    Great poem, filled with emotion and the hard honest truth.

    This is my favorite stanza:

    "They say time heals all
    maybe that's true
    So if time's on my side
    what else could you do"

    Congrats on the HM

    Amber


  • silverscent gold member
    April 7

    Edit | Reply
    I actually liked how you used the cliche
    "Please...don't try to fix me
    I realize I'm broken"
    and got away with it!! Adding it to the rest of the poem almost made it your own.
    I might have given you more than HM.


    • darlintlc silver member
      April 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks much! I didn't realize that was a cliche... maybe that's why I got away with it. LOL!!

  • I can relate so well with this. I lov the emotion and how bluntly you put how you know you're broken.
    "Don't try to fix me" Truly a great write.

    =)


    • darlintlc silver member
      April 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks much... I think we are all broken in one way or the other. lol

  • This is amazing. It goes so well with the quote. Thanks for entering

    ~Lae

    • darlintlc silver member
      March 23
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks much! When I read that quote I knew this poem was meant to go with it...glad you liked it!

      good-luck with your contest


  • Lanasaur
    March 11

    Edit | Reply

    Cool

    I really enjoyed reading this poem the ryhme is really good. And i too agree with you "don't try to fix me" is very powerful and you made a powerful poem. Well done and congratulations with the hm.

    Lana
    x


  • Selestial
    March 9

    Edit | Reply

    Very Good

    My goodness but you have some very good lines here, my favorite being "I realize I'm broken."

    My only suggestion would be to correct a misspelling in line 9... I think it should be loneliness. Other then that, very good poem indeed.

    • darlintlc silver member
      March 10

      Edit | Reply
      Thanks much for the read and comment! Thanks very much for letting me know about my oops! I fixed it but I guess I needed some help after all...LOL

      Tracey


  • She..
    March 5
    Edit | Reply
    says it all


  • Ms-Mouse
    January 7
    Edit | Reply

    Good!

    I like the last two lines, reminds me of me.


  • Paloszoo gold member
    December 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Love the title! This is how I feel most of the time, except this time I put out a call to all of you This is a great piece. Really enjoyed it, and I appreciate how you've come to me in my time of need. Thank you!

    • darlintlc silver member
      December 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Glad you liked the title and didn't get upset with me for using your words! It's so much better for us when we can ask for help from others but for me it's so hard...I really love helping others but when it comes to asking for help I see it as a weakness in myself! I believe it was the way my Mom taught me.


  • Simone Brooklyn
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    AMAZING. I ABSOLUTELY loved this. This is how I would feel, if my friends and family actually seemed concerned. Heh. Great, great poem. I loved it.


    • darlintlc silver member
      December 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks much for the great comment! I guess I've got too much pride to want help exspecially from my family!


  • Raining Kisses silver member
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is brilliant, A great rhythm and rhyme, and a very touching and heartfelt plea, i love this.Possibly one of my favourites of yours, and my best read today
    thanks, and thanks too for reading my stuff recently, much appreciated
    theresa

    • darlintlc silver member
      December 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks much for your kind comment! This one is one of my favourites too...I felt really strongly about what it said.

      Glad u enjoyed it and thanks for reading!


  • Swangrnv gold member
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    A very moving piece, written with a nice sense of rhythm and flow..and though the words seem full of hurt and pain..there's a resolve there also. i like this piece!

    • darlintlc silver member
      December 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks much for the read and comment! I'm a stubborn kind of person...that's what gives me the strength I need to fix myself!


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautifully Poignant...

    Wishing you the best of luck in the contest! Peace, Cyn

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