Hear me, see me, feel me, breathe me,
I am here, I feel you, I see you.
Hear me, see me, feel me, breathe me,
I am here, I see you, I feel you...
For too long I have languished, in a black pit of despair, the walls dripping with blood and bile, for too long I have languished, in a black pit of despair, the walls slick with blood, grease and bile.
I have prayed and I have suffered, I have begged the sun to show his face, I have committed suicide in the name of love, I have prayed and i have suffered, I have begged the sun to show his face, I have driven a stake through my heart in the name of love.
Like the phoenix I have risen, from the ashes of my own destruction, I am a newly hatched butterfly waiting to take flight, like the phoenix I have risen, from the ashes of my own destruction, I am a new moon rising over dark fields at night.
I am the wind, I am the fog, I am a solitary rose, I am the high and lonely cry of an eagle, I am the wind, I am the fog, I am a new moon rising, I am the soft, damp Earth, after the storm has passed over.
I am the ocean, I am the stars, I am the tides ebbing and flowing,I am winter's frozen sun hanging broken in the sky, I am the ocean, I am the stars, I am the ebb and the flow of tides, I am a new moon rising over dark fields at night.
Hear me, see me, feel me, breathe me,
I am here, I feel you, I see you.
Hear me, see me, feel me, breathe me,
I am here, I feel you, I see you...
A contest entry
- Poetry That Matters by Cupcrazy.
3500 points, ended February 6, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Nature and the Seasons by Vertigo-.
1400 points, ended January 10, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any honest comments and thoughts appreciated!
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I could almost see this one set to music. It as a fantastic rhythm to it that is even more emphasized by the key phrases. I could see the emotion here and enjoyed the imagery... particularly the broken sun.
Good luck in the contest!
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Glad You like! Thanx for reading and commenting!
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this is intense...very interesting...thank you for entering and good luck
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You have a lot of really nice imagery in this write. I imagine that this is a write personifying November, which, I feel it has done very well
The lines are very long, which I think is a minor burden on some of the more intense imagery. All and all, a terrific write.
s ~Genie~
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Sensual and deep. I loved the augmentation of the lines, deepening the torment. Very vivid.
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Most interesting and intriguing piece! (I believe the quote at beginning and end is a paraphrse from "Tommy"?) very well done, indeed!!
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Someone else mentioned the Tommy connection but to be honest
I'm not sure as i've never seen or heard it. Gonna have to check it out now!
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This one is a bit confusing, I get the general concept of the piece and there is depth there, I just don't know if the poetics are up to what I am looking for. But I am gonna leave this in for a bit and mull it over, maybe I am not getting it just yet.
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This is intense, with some amazing phrases that call for re-read upon re-read. My favorite is "I am winter's frozen sun hanging broken in the sky,".... Very nice, strong and powerful.
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Good Work
It is very creative. It also has a nice ring to it
^-^
Rating.. 8/10
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Good
It is a great piece but it is a little confounding at times. You have a lot of talent though!
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Good work
A nice piece, but a bit confusing at times. I read it several times before I really got it's true meaning. Then again my slow intelect could be the reason for that. sometimes I am not the sharpest tack in the box..lol..Anyway Nice write it held my interest til the end....LC
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Good work
A nice piece, but a bit confusing at times. I read it several times before I really got it's true meaning. Then again my slow intelect could be the reason for that. sometimes I am not the sharpest tack in the box..lol..Anyway Nice write it held my interest til the end....LC
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