Have you heard of young Willie McNair?
He had balls like a bull, I declare,
and the rest of his kit
was decidedly fit,
which caused all the lassies to stare.
Now he and his girlfriend, Big Jean
(who'd a face like a washing-machine)
took a stroll in the glen,
where they laid down, and then
what they did was completely obscene!
A haggis who was passing that way
was heard by the couple to say
"Nay, this willnae do,
get back tae the zoo
wi' the rest o' the monkeys--an' stay!"
Now Willie said "Hey, that's enough,
Ah'll hae nae mair o' yer guff."
And so he gave chase
to avenge his disgrace,
through the heather and other such stuff.
And that's how The Running became
a tradition which honours the name
of virile young blood
and Scottish manhood
and the haggis is treated as game!
Author notes
I didn't use many words from the Word Bank, but I hope this is acceptable.
A contest entry
- A Wee Contest for Saint Andrew's Day by Keith.
700 points, ended December 16, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I told you you'd win gold, file. Not bad for an Irishman, eh?
Mac -
I like "face like a washing machine" but unfortunately I do not have one so the simile is a little lost on me. However I do have a fridge full of blood for midnight snacks as I am a 24/7 kind of vampire.
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wow, that is cool. Dinna nae aboot the running of the haggis. Another thing Poor Andrew musta missed out on!
Happy St. Andrew's Day.
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!!!
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NOW JUST A COTTON-PICKIN', CHICKEN-PLUCKIN' MINUTE!
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Deft use of Limerick and Simile
Very acceptable indeed, and a fairly exact paraphrase of how the Running of the Haggis came into being. How uncanny! Face like a washing machine in itself is a truly amazingly original simile. Would that be a Bendix, a Hotpoint twin tub or a Zanussi?
I'll need to try and rustle up a few more entries before Christmas takes over. -
Funny - but it's supposed to be a wee contest, isn't it. "I don't know where ya've been laddie, but I see ya won first prize."
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Lol
Hey Bill you got me laughing my ass of on this one. great story here. Magic it truly is.
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Hahaha! very witty, Bill, superbly done, what a great story, hehehe,
good luck in the contest,
Alex.
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