Breath was never this sweet.
It spilled over eyes and cheek,
searing the illicit harmony lipward.
I heard stories in you;
erratic sparks sparring my bitterness.
For a moment we saw eye-to-eye.
Tacit phrases fed the numbness,
lingering razor-like at our necks.
Expression never betrayed the absent face.
I tasted your pulse,
but we were impossible.
Author notes
*attempting to cure writer's-block*
>_<
people are shit. lol.
A contest entry
- Pissed Love by Hateful Apathy.
2200 points, ended December 14, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Wow your imagery is so beautiful! your writting expresses such great emotion. This really is a piece of art. Thank you for entering.
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such strong emotions
this was good
i liked it -
can i just say i hate you and be done with it?
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oh you know you love me, whore.
=D
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(I'm Sarah btw.)
This had alot of feeling definently. And I liked the kind of imagery I got, slightly violent. I especially the last stanza, with the line "I tasted your pulse but we were impossible." Rather interesting.
ANd I agree with Pat on the author's notes
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Yay!! Sarah came to my rescue by saying the right things.
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Wow. This was quite a heated little moment you describing here... I loved your openin' paragraph. The semi-rhyme/assonance was great, though probably unintentional.
Great write... Digged it
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tehe not COMPLETELY unintentional...just very almost unintentional...
XD
thanks drees.
=]
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a moment where all was perfect... and then reality sets in...
I love this!!
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Nice
Um...interesting Author's Notes.
Also, very interesting poem. It's kinda late, so I won't be abled to analyze it right now. Just wait for Sarah to come by and judge, she'll probably say what I was thinking.
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hahah thanks.
=P
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