Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Questions

In crowded streets,

I walk

observing,

trying to comprehend

this world of totalitarianism,

and indoctrination

 

A pool of blood

because he spoke his mind...

...Why?

 

Remnants of innocent souls

lurking in the shadows...

Restrained,

shackled.

 

When will salvation arrive?

 

 

Author notes

Prompt:
“No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky.”
-Bob Dylan

20-40 words.

(39 words)

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • etoile
    December 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    yours is so much better than mine, i wish i read your entry before i decided to enter.
    blah i fail.
    but this is amazing!
    ..i agree with she stole my voice; salvation will sadly never arrive.
    gar.

    best of luck in the contest <3

  • She Stole My Voice
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    To answer:
    Salvation will never come.
    Unfortunately.

    But lovely piece.
    Thank you for entering and good luck ♥

    -Rainbow


  • Joseph Hollis
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very thoughtful write. You did an excellent job with the prompt. I'm also a big Bob Dylan fan which makes me like this even more. You continue to impress me, Ylova.


  • Alyzeh
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. An amazing prompt! I loved the question..When will salvation arrive?..this ends leaving you with a big question mark on your head..when will it arrive really?...

    Excellent pieces! You are an amazing writer.


  • Puppydog gold member
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    FANTASTIC!!!!!

    You have captured the essance of this beautifully! Freedom is seldom achieved and when it is one finds it hard to keep.'s


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    sometimes i don't even know, sometimes i don't even think that we want it to really happen, well some people at least, on both sides, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • thejollytinker
    December 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Maybe when the oppessors ask themselves, "What would mother think of me?" Gud stuf!


  • Hikari Lady
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I loved your first stanza. Wonderful and meaningful write, best of luck in the contest.

    Much love
    ~Noor


  • MD Masroor
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Strong and deep in the meaning you portray here. A job well done in penning this poem from the prompt that you chose. Good luck in the contest.


  • Amera gold member
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The shocking truth penned in verse. Billy Graham summed it up when he said: "If God doesn’t punish America then He owes Sodom and Gomorra an apology". Well done!

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Rhythm Child
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    thought provoking !!!
    and i think this is a very accurate description of what times were like and maybe still are
    brilliantly written, one of my faves


  • Ken-Maverick
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "trying to comprehend
    this world of totalitarianism,
    and indoctrination"

    I like these lines
    Well done with this write

    All the best to you in the contest

    Ken


  • Walk-Free
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    an impactful write.

    brilliant indeed

    best of luck~


  • Jesann gold member
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A powerful write.
    "Remnants of innocent souls
    lurking in the shadows...
    Restrained,
    Shackled"
    Very impressive write, well done.


  • styrofoam
    December 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    elegant and powerful (:


  • Lonely
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    when will salvation arrive..?
    Indeed..
    What a beautiful piece of poetry you have shared here dear friend Im totally impressed by your way of expression and you wording.. You did great again.
    I am really becoming your fan Ylova!
    Keep on writing and best of luck in the contest

    Peace,
    Lonely


  • Girl-Interrupted gold member
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Remnants of innocent souls
    lurking in the shadows...

    I really liked this.. You nailed it girlie..! The story told about salvation is amazing! I am very impressed!

    ps/ and in awe, as well.,!

    Love ya shug,
    becca


  • Jason Smith
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    That is very good, really good for a poem that is so short. You go into an amazing amount of detail although there are not many lines to it. A very good write

1 - 18 of 18