Protect You I will my sweet little Prince,
from evils which threaten Your sacred small life,
by God I was chosen, my sweet little Prince,
bring peace to this world, put an end to the strife.
True Virgin of God I vow to keep safe,
my dearest, my own I will nurture with care,
my sweeting, my precious, I vow to keep safe,
far into the future ,His sweet love we share.
Gaze gently upon Him my sweet little Prince,
Whom I have brought forth to calm stormy seas,
give thanks to our Lord for my sweet little Prince,
look upto the heavens and fall to your knees.
A contest entry
- The Virgin Mary by Violinstrings.
650 points, ended December 20, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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wow.
i kinda' knew, not really, what i would be reading. this was very good. this is pretty good stuff. your writing is very good. but about the write in general, well, thats just being a mom. love gypsyfish -
This piece has a very interesting rhyme scheme, I like it
There is a lot of repitition here but there may be a pantoum-like form at work that I am unaware of as a casual reader.
Because this appears to be from the point of view of Mary, perhaps, some figures of speech that draw to mind The Miracle as well as the enduring presidence of materal love for a child that she brings to modern day society would be appropriate.
Just thoughts. This is very nice, touching poem.
s and best wishes always... ~Genie~
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Great work here
In my heart and mind God so wants us and needs us to show every child upon this earth such love to bring this world to a peace is to bring all children into a place where love so reines and is held high above everything else
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this is beautiful
I am sorry I did not give this prize
really it was hard to judge with anything said about Mary is wonderful
referring to jesus as sweet little prince
mary talking about him
was well done
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I have to say that I am always chary of attempts to enter into the thoughts of One whose purity and closerelationship with the Almighty is so far beyond our understanding. But this piece has a freshness and innocence that commends it. However, I have to say I have some problems with line 10. "Who I have brought forth" should, according to the standard rules of grammar "Whom I have brought forth", and the archaism "for to calm" carries too many connotations of 19th-century demotic (and usually comic) verse. Likewise, in line "entrust" seems out of place. It is normally a verb that takes both a direct and an indirect object. One would normally say that God entrusted His Son (direct object) to Mary (indirect object), but you seem to be using "entrustt" to mean "trust" - which in normal usage it does not!
You might like to consider a comma after "chosen" in line 3 and "world" in line 4.
Do remember that among all Her other attributes, She was, herself, a poet, (Remember the glorious verse of Her Magnificat) and the descendant of one of the greatest poets - David. Putting words into Her mouth is a daunting task indeed, so perhaps a little more attention to grammar and punctuation would be appropriate.
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beautiful
this is a fresh write deserving to be a winner
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Biblical
And so the story is told and the poet creates a scene of history at times forgotten by many. Nice work poet.
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