"When's Daddy coming home? Mama, are we really alone?"
"Daddy'll be home soon my sweet angel, Allie baby, don't cry."
Most types of lying I will never, ever condone,
but this was a completely different kind of lie.
I rocked my peaceful baby to sleep for the last time,
'Cause deep down in my denial-filled heart I knew;
Tomorrow would be the last day she'd believe that line,
No matter what I desperately say or what I try to do.
Truth is, I found out that yesterday Daddy got killed.
An Iraqi soldier pulled the trigger out of shallow hate;
And believe me baby, this isn't what God willed...
Daddy tried to clean his wound, but it was already too late.
The other half of me now lays in a shallow grave made of dirt;
and I wish with my all that this didn't have to be..
and Allie darling I know this will always hurt;
but for both of us I hope you'll always have me.
Our family won't be destroyed by a metal bullet casing;
and I know how this burns, but we'll make it out alive..
and now even though all our fears we're facing;
your Daddy would want us to thrive.
Even though your daddy lies in the dry desert dust;
As I rock you this night, know that we'll be okay;
Even though Daddy won't be here to see us..
Don't worry my Allie, we will see better days.
Now, Allie baby we’ll have to trust just in the Daddy above;
He’s always been in control and loved every man…
Just know that with him you have the greatest kind of love,
And though our things aren’t their best, Big Daddy has a plan.
A contest entry
- Service Poems by Sergeant Awesome.
675 points, ended February 8, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter all your poems. by xxRainbowDawnxx.
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
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Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - a prewritten contest for everyone by serenity silvermoon.
400 points, ended March 1, 148 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What's your constructive criticisms and thoughts on my poem?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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hahaha def. not your best to say the least
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this is touching. my heart goes out to your friend.
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Awww this is so sad. I'm so sorry if this is based on truth. I am so glad you have strengh for your daughter. Beautiful.
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Aw, thanks. But this was dedicated to a friend, thank heavens not me. <3
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I don't really know what to say, other than this piece really made me cry. Well, would have if my tear glands worked properly. Beautiful write; so sad... My heart goes out to you.
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I'm truly sorry for your loss. I have two friends in the Marines who are over there right now, and I talk to their brothers almost everyday. We wait for them to return and pray for their safety. I'll say a prayer for your husband. The best of luck to you and Allie. God Bless.
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well
my first hope is that this is a creative fictional work and not actually something that happened in your life. if the later is true, i am very deeply sorry.
this is a very nice poem in spite of it's very saddening subject matter. the use of two line stanzas keeps it clean, clear and concise. it uses only enough words to convey very core thoughts and emotions which is very effective in evoking emotions in a reader, at least this reader...reading it felt something like being allies mommy and hearing my own internal dialogue.
thank you very much for your entry. -
Such a heart felt write
So sad it is and for many it is just as you say .Honey my heart goes out to you and your family and p[lease know all the men and women in our services aI hold dear to my heart and so pray that we at home and afar can find peace one day
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