He's just so beautiful.
Feeling complete is nothing in comparison, feeling alive meets no match.
Saying that frost on windowsills is what makes beauty finds no fit.
Words can not describe, pain can not subside.
I said I'd never feel this way again, I'd never live again.
I know I said it, I know I believed it. I know that I know that I know that he's beautiful.
He paints the sky with his finger reaching towards the stars,
he shines his light over me so I can reflect it back.
His eyes aren't like the sea. Cliche` deserves him not.
His eyes are like the power of believing;
Reaching for truth, reaching for hope. Finding faith in small things.
The sea cannot compare.
A contest entry
- Happy Moments by Good Mourning Moon.
700 points, ended December 26, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 1509 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - WE GATHERED SEA SHELLS WHEN WE SHOULD OF HELD HANDS by Swan song.
800 points, ended February 25, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - There's a First for Everything... by Lamia.
800 points, ended April 13, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What's your constructive criticisms and thoughts on my poem?
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Psh. This is about a hundred times better than mine. XD
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different from your later stuff...still great, though.
Yep, I'm really going to read all of 'em! -
I enjoyed this poem very much for no other reason than you brought unique and different images to a common theme. Cliché deserves him not and you did a great job of not resorting to any. I found it interesting how the images you painted were powerful and fantastic while being subtle and gentle all at the same time. That was really interesting. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
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very good deep and heart felt I enjoyed how you did this
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this was fantastic hun.
I love all the different comparisons and feelings that are prompted by your words.
and congrats on the honourable mention.
:]
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Aw, thanks.
This was one of the very first poems I wrote that has any poetic elements to it AT ALL, at about age 12; maybe 13.
It's only here to hopefully show improvement. haha.
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this is really good, I like it a lot because it reminds me of myself when I find thsat special person that hopefully will allow e to feel love agian... it's great.
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Such a beautiful poem and reminds me of mine titled "Forever". I really loved reading this...good luck.
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Welcome to All Poetry
A very nice romantic write you have penned here. I really like the imagery in this piece. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Sarah
Site Greeter
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Welcome to Allpoetry
Hi, angeladowns
This is a beautiful love-poem; very tender and romantic, it completely defies the cliche, and therein lies your lasting-effect. You've connected with your audience.
I love how short your ending is. Blunt and truthful is always the best way
I hope that you continue sharing your work with us.
Write on!
Laura
Site Greeter
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