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Revelation

Caramel skies adhere to my flesh.
Chrysalises leave Sapphire wound to bleed.

Won't you implode, pupa and enfold me,

stomp out this merciless burning need.

 

Ahead in the garden lies a putrid bathing pond

where drowning at peak of noon is allowed.

Tis polite the mavens say, to ignore a suicide,

yet it calls out a rambunctious curious crowd.

 

Plums as large and colorful as Saturn's moons

can be plucked from a nearby errant tree;

fruit with which I will adorn my unhappy breast

so that you will be sure to recognize me.

In a list

Tell me what you think, but kindly, please.

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Miss Faerie Greeters member
    December 17, 2008
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    Hoodwinked!

    I read heartache in this.
    A wound that will not heal although you wish that it would engulf you and take the pain away.
    To fall into the depths of suicide in a pond where noone would change your mind, or save your life..

    Stark. Vivid. And amazing.

    Shari-Lei


  • Lady Altheia
    December 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I liked it. It had an romanticism feel about it. I really liked your oicture too. I am glad you are writing again and I can't wait to read what else you have.


  • Rovingone gold member
    December 1, 2008

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    There's a sort of anguish running through this poem and symbolism of the chrysalis, the pupa and the contrast of the putrid bathing pond where drowning

  • Bad Bill
    December 1, 2008

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    Although I'm not quite sure what this is about, Wolfie, the imagery is powerful and creates a disturbing, even oppressive, atmosphere which is heightened by images of decay and decadence. This one lingers in the mind.

    Regards,
    Bill


  • Draig aine gold member
    November 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    umm

    interesting a garden of death perhaps


  • Sunkissed xo
    November 30, 2008

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    Dearest Mommy, you are indeed a true wonder. Your words are nothing short of exquisite. The imagery here takes my mind on a journey to this wonderous garden you portray! I especially love your description of the "caramel skies" and "plums as large and colorful as Saturn's moons" - truly magical. There is also a hint of sorrow in this that contrasts nicely with the beauty portrayed throughout. Ahh I look up to you for inspiration, deear Mommy. Well done, well done, well done! I could give this 100 applause points
    Cherry Moon

  • Lady Altheia
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This sounds like a lovely garden. I think that is what you are talking about. I see i am the first to comment. It is nice to see you writing again.

1 - 7 of 7