Thoughts stumble
over paled dreams;
tongues stick
to the roofs of their mouths
as substance shrivels
to soundless articulations.
Hope reciprocates
as the most heartless of verbs,
desiccated by the sun...
purity left to fester
within obscurity's petrified womb.
Author notes
image inspired
http://photodream.deviantart.com/art/Hiding-104203807
A contest entry
- TIme For A PIF Quickie! You Bored? by Sweet Impatience.
875 points, ended December 2, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Oh, this poem fits nicely with the picture...my only wish would be that somehow you could've incoroporated the oddness of the bird in the picture (somehow that element represented a striking contrast to the bleakness of the rest of the illustration) but other than that, you managed to connect to the inspiration of the drawing without being too literal.
My favorite lines,
"as substance shrivels
to soundless articulations."
Worked magnificantly...the sounds, the texture of the words were in direct harmony with the noise scattered background of the drawing...it made me feel as if my senses were colliding, sight, sound, and feeling becoming one endless line of static.
Please contribute more of your work to this site. I was pleasantly suprised at your talent!
~Hippie

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Wonderful
Very creative and so well done. Best of luck in the contest.

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the imagery throughout this poem is vivid and fantastic. I love the entire poem, especially the last two lines. Outstanding take on the prompt.
good luck
kat


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Very nicely written indeed good luck to you in her contest best wishes always in what you do be well


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great imagery.
I think you did an awesome job on the prompt - good luck
1 - 5 of 5




