I see your reflection
you're sitting on the floor
all curled up in the corner
behind the bathroom door
I hear short, soft sobs
while you look into my eyes
in me you see the pain
that caused yourself to cry
you reach for a tissue
and as do I
and while you bring it to your face
I too, bring one to mine.
I don't quite feel the hurt
that you are going through
but I sympathize your pain
and so I cry for you.
I'm the only one you talk to
you think no one else will care
this world is dark and cold,
lonely and unfair.
I'm your one and only friend
and that I'll always be
and I'll never turn my back on you
'till you turn yours on me.
Author notes
I wrote this poem from the point of view of the reflection.
A contest entry
- A blind girl at the mirror by Amazon Huntress.
850 points, ended December 14, 2008, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyming prewrites :] by Ami.
550 points, ended August 24, 75 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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beautifully written
very deep
I loved how you brought the reflection to life
very original
God bless you...
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this is an impressive write, the context deep and captivating, well done...
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I can see her too
Very perceptive take on the prompt. I love the reflective actions you use, particularly the closing lines. The idea of the reflection being her only company is both powerful and tragic.
The rhythm keeps pace pretty well, with a couple of exceptions, e.g.
"you reach for a tissue
and as do I"
This part could do with a few more syllables in the second line such as "at the same time, as do I"...? or something similar.
Thanks for being brave and taking up the prompt so enthusiastically!
*~Huntress~*
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wow
I am amazed. this is an awesome topic that i think I will try my hand at. Your poem has amazing and captured the scenario perfectly. -
great take on the prompt...I like the ending
good luck
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