I built these dreams from hemlock and ash
Filled with paper chases and broken hearts
Empty rooms of smoke and mirrors
With everything fading into oblivious white
An overgrown garden gone to seed
Field mice and badgers play among the stalks
As that old black crow cries
Yellow daisies swaying unconcerned
And everything fades out
She dances across the hillocks
Beneath these cloud filled skies
Black spider weaves her web of intrigue
Ready to strike and everything fades out
She stands so tall with corn-blue eyes
Queen of all she surveys
In a garden deep and gone to seed
As everything fades into oblivious white
A contest entry
- white by Cat.
2200 points, ended December 9, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
In the
Comments
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you had a really nice metaphor running through this piece that was impressive.. some pretty defined images.. try and stay away from the over-used images if you can like smoke and mirrors..
but overall a very nice job
thanks so much for entering
m
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Laced silk
spread like sheets of glass on an icy hill. Beautiful.
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You have many vivid images in this ..... I know that i really liked the idea and concept of 'Black spider weaves her web of intrigue'
daisys- i think you want the plural form 'daisies'
I am definately faded into oblivious white within this piece.
Thank you so much for taking the time to enter our contest
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i dig it
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