sullied skin
weathered
by the insensitive
hands of time
this battered mind
withdraws to a place
where dreams may still
be pursued without persecution
and should the fingers of fate
demand that I surrender my life
unto the dusty unforgiving soils
I will not offer any defiance
for this heart and this soul
have always and will forever be
wanderers within the air of wisdom
floating free along the tempered winds
so as I fade beneath the surface of reality
and my body detached from mortal fears
it will join as one with the great unknown
to watch over more souls weathered by time.
Author notes
Image prompt: http://photodream.deviantart.com/art/Hiding-104203807 as used above poem.
In a list
A contest entry
- TIme For A PIF Quickie! You Bored? by Sweet Impatience.
875 points, ended December 2, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewritten contest for all by serenity silvermoon.
490 points, ended January 30, 90 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quckie, One Trophy, Wow Me! 30 Minutes by Timeless Wisdom.
600 points, ended May 25, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Detailed critique welcome
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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very nicely done, such eloquence in your wording and sophistication of "speaking outside the box." Cleverly penned
Meter - 10/10
Rhyme - N/A
Imagery - 10/10
Content - 10/10
Title -10/10
Overall - 50/50
Thanks for your entry!
Raymond
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1st of great job on the silver trophy. this whole poem was great there were no parts of it that i did not like and there is nothing i would change in it you are a great poet thanks for sharing
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wow! thats really good! i love it...... it gives me such a vivid mental picture! its awsome
great write love,
~*Princess Cuddle Bug*~ -
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thank you for the comments, every now and then I step out and write something abstract and this came out rather well.
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the metaphors and the imagery throughout this piece is brilliant. I really love your take on the prompt.. I sat here trying to figure out what stanzas or line that I loved more than the others, I came to the conclusion, I love the entire piece, I enjoyed reading this.
excellent take on the prompt
good luck
kat
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ooo. i really like this piece. very interesting and i like the imagery and metaphors in the piece.
good luck
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thank you very much for reading and taking the time to comment, glad you enjoyed it.
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