frozen lips at teeth grind
down hard
found, not under glass,
but ice
fingernails sketching
pretty pictures
from below
above and caught
in icy air bubbles
her retributions
are held until spring
or until
a hole’s cut
to fish through
Author notes
40 words
jpg = http://www.photoshoptalent.com/photoshop-picture/48fa392851b8a/Captured-in-the-ice.html
A contest entry
- white by Cat.
2200 points, ended December 9, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Some powerful ideas and images here, for me ...the thoughts, even last wishes into a frozen place ...and the thaw, the time when the bubbles rise to release air...like a last wish flying into the skies...remarkable, in so few words...PK
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yes, sometimes we just have to wait for the thaw... but as long as we know the thaw is coming
we can bear the unbearable--- i think... it's when you don't know
or have never lived through the frozen waters, the teeth chatters
the begging for air- that you can not believe the thaw will ever come..
very nice- great metaphor
m
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I can hear the wicked guitar solo from traped under ice from ride the lightning.
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I morn her frozen innocents
purity encased in an eternal tomb of youth.
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frozen lips at teeth grind
down hard
found, not under glass,
but ice
((( and i sit under the weight of the world- trying to bear it all.... wishing it was glass for that would break... and then i think of your title- I regroup and find a more spiritual darkness of this frozen tundra)))
fingernails sketching
pretty pictures
from below
(((this image reminds me of what we do when stressed trying to pass time. A hit of anxiousness here and though it is a lovely thought on the surface- it is not on the surface at all.)))
above and caught
in icy air bubbles
(((i was lost with the use of 'above' but then was reminded of your title and i think things are wanting to creep in through the bubbles like connect the dots)))
her retributions
are held until spring
or until
a hole’s cut
to fish through
((( and that anxiousness hinted to earlier surfaces at the wait until spring- almost so unfair like... and i feel almost desperation at the waiting of another to solve this issue when really it can be solved within the whole time but the ice is too thick to realize that--- just where i drifted to for a second in metaphor.
Really cool take on the prompt and I hope i didnt insult you in anyway with where you took me within myself. Thank you for taking the time to enter this in our contest!)))
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the frozen mermaid, perhaps? great imagery even in this short piece. love the picture as well. great write. good luck.
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There is a tension here between what is and what can be. Possiblity where many would find only desolute impossibilty.
Ice becomes only the suspension of waters dynamic lust to dance with gravity and air still waits to set it free or be set free. Beautifully drawn with quick impressions of words.
Love,
Tom B.
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